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1. IMDB Rating system- numbers 1 through 1 through 10, 1 being "please rip my eyes out." 10 being "that was and I doubt i'll aenjoy many as much as I just did that wonderful." The rest are just ranking how much I enjoy them anything below 5 probably isn't worth my time of day, 5 itself is average, 6-9 is how I gauge my enjoyment of an above average...sometimes classic films.
2. The Star Rating- The IMDB ratings are personal to me its how I enjoyed the film the star ratings also reflect this but it also reflects if I feel its worth it to watch for what it is towards others.
For instance I might give X-Men First Class 7/10 on IMDB because thats how I feel about it, but I would give it 4 stars (the highest possible number) to you because if you are going to see a summer blockbuster I feel it is a fantastic showing for the super hero genre and recommend it to all people going to the movies for an action packed time.
I have a list of all the movies I ranked 10/10 (54 as of 7/23/2011) in my list section but here s a condensed list of film I feel very strongly about.
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance
No Country for Old Men
Noferatu The Vampyre (1979 Herzog version)
Let the Right One In
It Happened One Night
I find myself frequently bringing the above movies when asked "Hey what are your favorite movies"
Im open to all genres in film as well as other art mediums (Music, Poetry, Painting etc etc)
Im 24, my father is a moderately well known painter in the NYC area (website here www.decayart.com my mother is cool people too she used to sing in a band in the NYC area and I currently reside in New Jersey where I write, rap, make films, and do stand up I plan on moving to LA spring of 2012 thanks for reading.
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If you cant tell I have a lot of films to watch, and I am constantly collecting.
I also own a fatty arbuckle boxset with 32 shorts and a making of the original star wars trilogy documentary I dont feel like looking up.
A shot a nostalgia.
My story is far from a new one in the realm of movie goers. I grew up in the 80's and 90's and a family member introduced me to the Star Wars trilogy I instantly feel in love with the franchise, from the action to the cheesy hat tips to serials of the 40's and more subtle nods to directors like Kurosawa I was stuck a fan. I often argued with friends which one was better, why the Ewoks aren't that bad, and what gave lead these characters to where they ended up. The story while simple was fulfilling a little epic about how a regular joe saved the galaxy.
Then of course the dark times came. 3 unnecessary movies that amounted to trying to get Darth Vader into his Darth Vader suit haunted my teens. Metacholrins? Why? Liam Neison playing the most boring role possible? Why? All these little plot holes and points that existed in the original trilogy but were easy to ignore to do immaculate story telling stuck out like the sorest of thumbs on the biggest of hands and I being a teenaged weed smoking to cool for school type of fella had all but given up on Star Wars.
Needless to say even though I am a tick away from 30 now I still love me some Star Wars and chalk it up to becoming soft in my old age but even the prequels now have their charms (not the second one though thats still awful) still when I heard Disney acquired Star Wars it did not inspire A New Hope, I figured another Empire was Striking Back, and I did not fawn for The Return of any Jedi (Notice how clever I am). The way I figured is George Lucas almost destroyed his own creation what damage would a soulless corporation like Disney do to it? Well Apparently they would bring back everything I loved about Star Wars and restore my faith in the story and brand as a whole.
Episode VII is a simple review. It's big on what we wanted out of the prequels. There are no galactic senates bartering treaties, no stale uninspired pseudo love story seemingly written by someone holding a paint a movie romance by numbers book. There is no Jar Jar Binks, there is no 110 minute build up to a Clone War that lasts 2 minutes, there aren't even any vaguely racist aliens based on stereotypes from the 70's. Nope Episode VII is just all out old fashion fun and excitement.
A small droid is sent off in the desert holding a map to the whereabouts to one Luke Skywalker who has been missing for some 30 odd years now. It is sought after by both the rebellion and the first order (empire or sith they are all the same embodiment of evil.) while slaughtering a village to get this map, a storm trooper quickly realizes the fault in his ways. With his help the help of his some familiar and new faces they set off to stop the first order and find Luke to save the galaxy. The black and white duality of the original series returns here things aren't murky conflict exists but at the end of the day it is Good must stop evil or evil wins. The action is brisk and enthralling and the script may be the wittiest of all the Star War films to date. Harrison Ford never losses a beat and continues to embody the Han Solo character as much as he did 30 something years ago. The new cast is beyond charming and reek of talent and exuberance and the Nostalgia alone will have any fan of Star Wars on the edge of their seat waiting for the next line or sequence just because it captures the soul of the original films so well. As far as new viewers well it's treat for them too. JJ Abrams is a fine director and anyone thats a fan of his Star Trek reboots will drool over the delicious set pieces and action sequence entrapt within this wonderful world he creates for the character. There is everything you need for a good film, concise action, love, betrayal, heartbreak, and most importantly old fashion star wars sensibilities.
The Comedy (2012)
The Melancholia That is Freedom.
Outside melancholia I don't see be using many 5 dollar words to describe The Comedy. Born from the depths of a generation sans responsibility The Comedy is a sad portrayal of those privileged yet initiated in the world today. Essentially the hollow existence of a rich man (by way of proxy) is exposed as a numbing unnerving process in which a sad person seeks to feel alive through a series of ironic and annoying events that can only be described as "real life trolling". The acting is subtle and upsetting as you watch the life of a 4 grown men whittled away seemingly at their own discretion and it becomes even more upsetting when you realize these men do these things on their spare time as well leaving you wondering if the main character, wonderfully played by Tim Heidecker is searching for a deeper meaning in all this non-sense or simply killing time in between breathing.
The most striking and obvious theme of the movie is hit dead on, as no matter how much "fun" the characters are portrayed as having a deep seeded loneliness constantly lingers on the screen. Even as Heidecker's character forms relationship or merely interacts with a stranger you can feel the unhappiness he extrudes.
One thing about The Comedy that is for sure, is that while it may make you chuckle and even get a gut laugh is far from a comedy. No, The Comedy is ironic portrait of how ironic it is that a life fueled by irony is without a doubt sincerely unfulfilled.
If you are looking for the laugh riot of the year I suggest you pass on The Comedy. If you are looking for a serious film on flippant lives it might be the best of 2012.
Trouble with the Curve (2012)
Clint is old and mad about being old...but its still hard not to like him.
We get it Clint you can play a good crotchety old man. Luckily fr the viewers of Trouble with the Curve its the best crotchety old man in Hollywood today.
Trouble with the Curve is the story of a widowed, aging, and of course blinding baseball scout on one last run because "The man" is now nor longer using the scouts as much as they are computers putting people like Eastwood out of their jobs. Amy Adams plays the loving but distant daughter of this scout still wondering if why her father left her after her mothers passing almost 3 decades before hand, while having the loving instinct to give up her job as partner in a lawyers firm to help her father along the way of his swan song.
There isn't much here that hasn't been seen before man is extraordinary at his job blinding or not, daughter finds a love interest in a baseball player that was once scouted by Eastwoods charter now hoping to be a scout/announcer (played admirably by Justin Timberlake.), daughter secretly knows A LOT about baseball too (this is not a spoiler trust me)., and Eastwoods former darftee (still Timberlakes character) is still a friend but also a scout thats team has the pick before Clints (I know this might be a little confusing for non baseball fans..but its sort of a base ball movie.) Okay so the good is the Performances top to bottom the people that need to be subtle are subtle and those that need to be over the top are over the top. I myself grew up in a baseball family (my father worked full time for a Double A club for a long long long time) so I can assure you its accurate when it comes to scouts and their ways, its beautifully shot. It is always important that the massive grandeur of the baseball field is felt while filming in a real stadium while the homey feeling of backwoods Southern American high school baseball leauge is also right on point due to great camera work.....and finally, Clint Eastwood yea I know I said the performances already BUT Clint is in a league of his own (get what I did right there? lol puns are funny) and he still holds up on the silver screen. No this isn't as good as his performances in Gran Tarino or Dirty Harry but with age he hardly misses a step, his seems spunky and weak at the same time and its just amazing to watch a vet work. Walking the tight rope as an aging actor is a hard thing to do and sometimes we just give former stars passes for being former stars even as their acting skills diminish for whatever reason, but Clint earns respect from his performances and no pity is needed for the man. He is still A list and Trouble with the Curve shows us that.
Okay so the bad. Obvious side love story is obvious, obvious premise is obvious, and obvious outcome is obvious...but those things don't ruin movies with the story given to them the cast, director, and crew do a very good job and salvage something that could be hum drum into something worth watching...at least for Eastwood and Baseball fans.
I recommend giving it a viewing it'll probably one of the stronger wide releases until "Rush out the art projects so we can get an Oscar!" season starts in late November.
High School (2010)
Disjointed but amusing
The first 35 minutes of High School is some of the most comedy I have seen this year. Yea its in the vein of the Apatow/Seth Roganequse vein of witty banter and ridiculous situations. Unfortunately this films script is so sub plot ridden and contrived it losses me at a lot of places and as the movie goes on the novelty stops working.
Slacker/Stoner/High School Outcast films can work on many levels as character pieces, comedies, faux-action, satires, dramas, romances etc etc, there is very little that hasn't been tried and there is very little that hasn't had a good variation of said sub-genre. High School tries to do it all and its got that copy paste feel only a lazy screenplay can have.
Once again, there are some weird good things about this film, the people being high isn't always super over blown. Matt Bush owns his role pretty well. While Brody and Chikilas are over the top and having fun with what they have to do but it doesn't go anywhere there isn't anything new but at the same time its too all over the place to be a homage to stoner films of yesteryear.
If you like stoner comedies its worth a rental and there is stuff to laugh at but there isn't much of comfort zone in between laughs and boredom.
Dark Shadows (2012)
Tim+Johnny, for better or for worse.
Tim Burton and Johnny Depp feed off each other immensely as working partners and have developed what I can only assume to be a legitimate close friendship over the years. Due to their friendship Hollywood has seen some of the most incredible and original motion pictures over the 90's and 2000's. Im not saying they cant work apart thats not the case at all. Im actually saying they work together so much they might want to be caviler in choosing projects to work on.
Dark Shadows is a disappointment for many reasons, and after collaborations between Burton and Depp such as Ed Wood, Edward Scissorhands, and Sleepy Hollow, one has to wonder why this was ever even made. The script doesn't only not work on any real level, its pace is horrible and the film cant decide what it wants to be at all. Dark Shadows cant even decide if it wants the main character in the film Branabus (Played by Depp) to be liked or not, he goes from goofy to high class to murderer in a eye blink and it all comes off flat.
Another big problem Dark Shadows has is it never fleshes out any side plot. Like the side plot is glanced at for like a scene then it just pops back in 25 minutes later and you are like "Oh thats what that random scene 25 minutes ago was about.
Other times things just seem forgotten completely. I swear I forgot Bella Heathcote was in the film at on point and she is the love interest, and I didn't forget because I was "Caught up in the thrill ride that is Dark Shadows." I forgot because she disappeared for a good 35 minutes and she isn't doing anything during that time, not in danger or kidnapped just kinda goes off screen and comes back later, as to say "Did I miss anything?. No, Bella. You missed nothing.
Much like The Avengers people fight for shoehorned screen time unlike The Avengers the screenplay isn't fan friendly at all so aside from some beautiful filming techniques the film has nothing to offer.
If you a Depp fan, Phiffer fan, or A die hard fan of Burton ascetics as a director I guess its worth a watch, but as a film that stands alone its not funny, its not scary, and its not engaging. Its nothing really, you would expect more from Depp and Burton at least a little more.
The Avengers (2012)
Exactly what you expected probably.
In order to understand the situation of my review I'll clear some things up. I saw this on a regular movie screen, no 3D and no IMAX so maybe I wasn't fully engrossed in this film due to the medium I chose to view it in, but lets cut the crap, if a movie needs images popping at your face every other 30 seconds and IMAX sized screens to be "TOTALLY AWESOME, BRUH." it was never that solid to begin with. That being said lets analyze the film shall we? So here is the main problems with The Avengers as a whole, it relies too much action with too little meaning. What did I expect though, right? Well I expected something a little less cookie cutter than this.
If Transformers is a bad movie (which it is and far worse than this.) for lacking fan service of its original audience to connect to, The Avengers is stunningly mediocre for the exact opposite reason. God bless the man or woman that enters the theater with no prior knowledge of every superhero movie released in the last 7 years, because all this film contains is fan service upon fan service. There is nothing organic about this film and it shows in spades. Everything and everyone is merely glazed over waiting for there 12 minutes of solo screen time no risks are taking and there is so much Star Wars prequels-equse action going on that it kills any tension you might have the film almost runs 150 minutes 100 of which are unnecessary fights between the bad guys and good guys or the good guys and the other good guys not gelling as a team its just an obvious film.
The avengers isn't irredeemable though it has some solid performances particularly Colby Slomders of How I met Your Mother fame proves she can probably take a stab at being an action heroine on her own project and Mark Ruffalo's take on The Hulk impressed me. The action sequences while over abundant are masterfully crafted and the comedy is surprisingly what works the best in this film with several witty one liners strewn through out the film.
At the end of the day I think the film was too much Bang and not enough buck. As I was leaving a gentlemen was talking to his wife and said "I thought there would be a lot less talking." my inner monologue rebutted "Wanna just watch stock footage of things getting blown up and punched?" but this is what it is. If you are a fan of superhero movies you'll probably love this. If you are fan of things that blow up and implode you'll probably love this too. Fans of focused films with a little more story and character development, maybe a risk or two being taken will probably feel the same way I do about it.
My one sentence summary of The Avengers, "2 and half hours of non-specific escapism." I that sounds like something you like which there is no shame in then I recommend it. If not id pass or wait for a rental.
The Groove Tube (1974)
It could be more enjoyable
The Groove Tube is a sketch comedy film produced,directed, starring, and written by long time TV writer and former child actor Ken Shapiro. The film is clearly a labor of love and to its credit has some entertaining skits. My personal favorite is excellent finale which is just the kind of scene/skit you don't see much anymore. The main problem is a lot of this is hit or miss, and the miss tends to drag while the hit tends to be in short shots. The cameos brought to the table are pretty funny for nostalgia reasons. People I knew growing up with different shows and films like Chevy Chase and Richard Belzer join in on the skits and when they are on screen they usually bring along a laugh. The main flaws is that it was written in a way that was guaranteed to not be timeless, its age shows and its just too choppy to be looked at in a serious light for having a cult status. Id personally just stick to Kentucky Fried Movie or History of the World: Part 2 if you are looking for films with this essence, but fans of Chevy, or Belzer, or even just kids of the 60's and 70's might find some fun to be had with it.
Into the Abyss (2011)
Into the Abyss is Herzogs most haunting piece since his 1979 remake of Nosferatu and to me, it would appear to be his most personal work to date. Herzog has always been an outspoken warrior against capitol punishment, so I assumed this would be preachy, overstated, and direct. To my surprise this is one of the most understated documentaries on death row inmates and those around them I have ever had the pleasure of watching.
Centering around the homicides committed by two Texas youths over a car in the early 2000's and the consequences felt by all the people involved, Into the Abyss isn't about guilt or innocence, nor is it about wrong or right. Into the Abyss is about staring the reality of it all in the face.
Herzog leaves no stone unturned as he interviews the perpetrators, the victims families, the wife and father of one of the prisoners, the prison chaplain, a series of acquaintances, the police captain, and a retired prison guard that was once the modern day equivalent of the town executioner. None of whom dwell on the deaths of those killed or the upcoming death of Micheal Perry (the inmate that was given death) but life after the events. How their worlds were effected is the topic and even though Herzog states clearly he opposes the death penalty he never harps on it.
The subjects that are interviewed were obviously hand picked with care and it all amounts to an eerie retrospect on how the world misses the big picture when it comes to taking the life of another for crimes they have committed. Easily the most jaw dropping documentary of the young 2010's decade. I cant think of another film that got me so emotionally involved while seemingly dancing around the main subject. Herzog has done it again, but I cant call it triumphant. No, Into the Abyss isn't a triumph at all. It is an epic tragedy that should be watched by those both pro and anti capitol punishment.
The Muppets (2011)
Their back...not better than ever but getting there.
Let me start this review by saying how much of an effect The Muppets have had on my life (particularly my childhood.). I have honestly have probably seen every thing Muppet related from every episode of the original TV show to their more recent direct to DVD attempts, and through thick and thin I'll always be a Muppet fan, but I was apprehensive going to see this film. After the lukewarm at best Muppets from Space I don't know a single Muppet fan that isn't a little iffy about what the next big Muppet project would be like.
2011's The Muppets is far from the best Muppet outing of all time but it does some very clever things to make the film enjoyable. It is painfully self aware of the age and popularity drop of The Muppets sometimes to a fault, as expected the jokes of these types are hit and miss. It also takes 2 ADULT humans and a new Muppet and throws them into The Muppet universe in a surprisingly effective manner. The reasons this movie succeeds is the same reason its not perfect and that is the fact it 1. Doesn't take itself serious at all. 2. The main "plot" is literally about 7 different little plots used to set up gags and bring The Muppets together, and 3. ENDLESS FAN SERVICE.
The film begins in the town of Smallville where we meet our main "not so much protagonists but main focus of the first 30 minutes of the film." Gary and his puppet brother Walter. Walter being different from others growing up found comfort in The Muppets and their show and always dreamed of going to the (im pretty fictional) Muppet studios. Gary is a likable, up beat, young man that loves his puppet brother more than anything in the world except maybe his girlfriend Mary and decides to celebrate his anniversary taking his bother and girlfriend to LA to fulfill his brothers dream and celebrate his 10th anniversary with Mary. When the 3 get to LA they see the Muppets lot in ruins and all but forgotten, and through some coincidence Walter hears of I local oil tycoons plan on buying and destroying the studio in a funny sequence where the films writers themselves crack fun at the giant plot dump of a scene it is. From then on its up to Walter and company to reunited The Muppets to help raise the 10 million dollars they need to save their studio (that none of them use anymore so we don't really known why its important to save it we just roll with the punches.) The 2nd and 3rd act are essentially set pieces showing what The Muppets are up to after their fame has dwindled and The Muppets trying to put on a great show after years of no practice and little relevance in pop culture, and its pretty much all fan service, great cameos, solid jokes, and solid songs follow. I guess my main problem with this is it makes the original 3 main characters pseudo-plots seem tacked on...and it seems this way because they are tacked on, also The Muppets internal conflict with one another in preparing for the show becomes the antagonizing factor and the "villain" jumps on and off screen about as much as Dr. Claw from the Inspector Gadget cartoon series.
I guess a more cynical watcher could say this film is The Muppets standing around looking at the camera screaming "WE STILL EXIST!" and I guess they would be right but for me this film was just good old fashion fun with all the trimmings. So, is The Muppets better than The Muppet Movie or even maybe better than the best Muppet film of all time A Muppet Christmas Carol...no its also not better than The Great Muppet Caper, or Muppet Treasure Island in my opinion, but it is something to work from for a new reboot of the brand and is certainly enjoyable. Gaps in funny moments, lack of genuine conflict (and lack of Statler and Waldorf even though they are in the film and have some classic lines.) and a tangled "plot" holds the film back from the adventure it could've been and has us settle for a self aware reintroduction to some of my favorite characters of all time and Im okay with that and I feel lots of other people will feel the same.
The Muppets IMDb Rating: 7/10 Star Rating: ***
Fatal Deviation (1998)
I love it because it exists
1998's Fatal Deviation is an Irish direct to video martial arts film written and starring tike sized fighter, James P. Bennett, im going to be frank, this movie is what I call "A beautiful failure" this movie is horrible in every facet, The acting, the soundtrack, the stunts, the story, the dialog, and the film quality are all at best laughable, but with all this ridiculousness it finds...zen if you will, much like other films in its category (at least to me) The Room, Troll 2, Hobgoblins, and The animated Titanic films, Final Deviation transcends horrible film making to the point that you are forced to enjoy it as you belt out laughing... I suggest everyone watch it but only if you are in the mood for a funny and down right silly time (its free on youtube).
Fatal Deviation (1998) 8/10 (for all the wrong reasons)
Dark Ride (2006)
Falls flat in a lot of areas, but its a fun time killer
Well basically this is the type of movie you get what you ask for with, its low budget and not afraid to admit it, its main cast is a group of obscure C list actors and character actors you would never assume would share the same screen, and the plot is pretty run of the mill...but I still gave it 6 and with good reason, ATMOSPHERE. Holes plot wise (not to mention I knew the ending within 15 minutes of watching), and a pretty hammy story stops it from being anything more than a tad above average but its shooting, and lighting is on point so it gets my approval at least for 1 watch, it does the best with what its given, its also nice to see the goalie from the big green is still getting work, I have always liked that guy for some reason.
So yea Dark Ride- 6/10 on the cheesy horror scale, Troll 2 being a 1 and Return of The Living Dead being a 9.
A love letter to violence
My oh my I knew this was going to be awesome. I was trying to decide tonight, what should I watch tonight, Finding Neverland, Woyzeck, or Machete, and while Im sure the other two are going to be great, or at least watchable I think I made the best choice, this tribute to exploitation at its best and Danny Trejo's much deserved starring role in a major motion picture, the acting ranges from superb to terrible, and I wouldn't have it any other way, things are never explained, people are always at the right place at the right time, some special effects are top notch, others are love letters to films like 2000 Maniacs once again I couldn't think of it being anymore well crafted, the contrast between great, and horrible is so over the top it's nearly perfect.
The downside is that the film is draining, the first 40 minutes are so in your face, that by the time you get to the 75th minute you feel like the movie has given you all that it has to offer...granted I found it not to be the case I can see it being a major problem to others.
Im gonna keep it funky with you guys, in all honesty this movie is an 8.5, but I don't do .5's because thats the cowards way out, so im just gonna go balls to the wall and give Machete a solid, 9 out of 10. Highly recommended.
8: The Mormon Proposition (2010)
A giant commercial
I am not a homophobic person. I believe in equal rights for everyone whether they be white, black, gay, straight, poor, rich, shark, or bear...but that doesn't change the fact this movie is a giant pro gay marriage, anti-LDS commercial, anyone thats read a paper in the last 3 years already knows everything this movie has to offer therefore I cant give it more than a 5/10 its heart is in the right place, but it's execution is preachy, melodramatic, and long winded....never good for a documentary in my humble opinion. Its 78 minute running time feels like 5 hours and in every essence of the word this film is a giant commercial
This could be A lot lot lot worse
Im not going to lie, giving this a 4 might be over doing it a little, but given the source material and the rewrite that happened this isn't all that bad.
Angus, Thongs and etc etc is charming at its high points and very very textbook at its low points, nothing is learned really, but given you are the right person, it should make you feel pretty good inside.
A girl has a quirky family in the most challenging part of her life (as the movie would make it seem not being a girl I cannot confirm or deny this)She notices all her flaws and neglects the flaws of those around her, including close friends, she is self absorbed like most teens are, she is just coming out of her shell trying to find a boyfriend while everyone else around her seems to be doing it with ease, being inexperienced in the art of snogging (kissing) to us Americans she dwells on finding out how to perfect the act, falls in (puppy) love with a boy and the movie is pretty textbook from there she does wacky things to get him, gets in fights with everyone from family members to friends along the way, blindly uses people to get what she wants only to realize the errors of her ways etc etc.....like I said Cookie Cutter coming of age story from over the pond, (unless you are English)....what saves it is that its seems pretty genuine when it comes to dialouge and the thought process of the girls, aside form the (purposely) over the top moments, which is always nice.....still 4/10
Mystery Team (2009)
A Valiant First Effort.
Derrick Comedy are on the brink of being the next comedy wave...hell in a lot of ways they already are with their shorts. Every other person involved with DC seems to be getting big time roles in major TV shows like Community to The Office...but we aren't reviewing their worth to the comedy scene as a whole we are reviewing their debut feature length film, Mystery Team.
There is a lot of promise in this movie, and some heartfelt laughs, but it might have been a tad to much for DC to handle with such little funds (as far as movies go) and lack of SCREEN WRITING experience and as the movie goes on the weaknesses turn from paper cuts to gaping wounds. DC tend to fall into a rut where they cant think of a funny situation to throw in the movie with the premise given so they throw in some misplaced fart, or rape, or poop jokes, and that coupled with weak acting leads to disastrous gaps in comedy.
The performances of the stronger actors in the film like Donald Glover, and Aubrey Plaza (Who from what I know isn't affiliated with DC outside this movie) seem pulled down by their weaker counterparts, and one can only a assume a few more shorts and a drama class or two couldn't have hurt them in preparation for such a major project.
Mystery Team does have to be taken with a grain of salt though. The movie is far from void of laughs, and at the end of the day it was 3 guys making a movie they envisioned and even though they I'm sure they'll even admit it was harder then they expected, it seems like they had a hell of a good time doing it.
On some lesser but still major faults Donald Glovers score is horrible, and the screenplay in itself has some serious drags in it, I know I keep bringing it up but people should know how important it is to keep a comedy going, moving and moving if there isn't A situation a joke could be going into, there should be plot development not just hit or miss one liners, that in this case often miss.
Im excited for the future of every main character in this movie....but as for Mystery Team as a whole a have to call it a lackluster movie with a heavy dose of one shot laughs.
Oh Tom Six...why?
I wish I could say this movie was self aware of how bad it was executed, sadly I truly think Tom Six is not only proud of this but finds it revolutionary...
Here is A quote from Mr.Six himself paraphrased "Why make movies unless they are original." and i respect that quote on a lot of levels...now lets review this movie.
A mad doctor is kidnapping people (Totally original), in his house thats in the middle of nowhere and apparently never checked on unless of course you are a lost tourist (UNDENIABLY ORIGINAL), so he can experiment on them and make his mad vision come to life. (Most original concept ever amirite?) So generally speaking this movie kicks Tom Six's own quote in the balls, put thats fine why cant there be a good movie about a mad scientist and his whacked out brutal experiments the answer there is none, but there is a reason why it didn't work here.
Six seems to have problems moving his characters out of the first dimension and this starts to show almost immediately instead of a proper prologue of some sort the film just simply begins, we are almost expected to know why this scientist is a mad scientist, and why he wants to make this human centipede.
At this point we met our (loosely put) protagonist 2 American tourists who get lost on the way to the club...apparently there are no highways in Germany, so their car gets stranded in the woods (Tom's originality once again shines in such a plot device) after not being able to get help because their cell phones aren't getting reception (there goes that loss end) they stumble into the doctors house where we begin our last 75 minutes of useless shenanigans another tourist is kidnapped off screen and brought in then seriously it plays out like every movie involving A kidnapped person ever has...and to top it off there is some Tommy Wiseau quality acting in this baby, that comparison being made there is a lot of similarities between this and Wiseau's work, id go as far as to call it, "The Room of Horror Movies".
Its badly acted, written, directed, and just plain annoying to sit through, it doesn't even have the camp value movies like Troll 2 or Plan 9 have its just all around bad film creating...but then again Tom Six did make it.
You know whats also slow and unappealing? Taking a dump.
There is a lot wrong with zodiac but most of it can be summed up in one word, SLOW, now I im not some guy that needs a non stop action thriller fast paced bombardment of action, in fact im quite the opposite, but this is unacceptable the tension of the movie is already compromised by knowing the outcome before the movie starts at least as far as the serial killer plot goes, obviously he is never caught. In the meantime its just a play by play of what was happening that anyone watching the news in the 70's could have seen, mixed with a ho hum story based on the paranoia of a local reporter. I mean the acting is solid for it is which saves it from being a complete abortion, but aside from that its just a slow paced snore fest that makes The Human Condition trilogy look like it has a Transformers like pace in comparison, and thats like 9 and half hours long.
The Lovely Bones (2009)
One of the best of 2009 and i'll tell you why.
Id be a liar if I sat here and told you Peter Jackson was the reason I gave this movie 8 out of 10 stars, but at the end of the day the cast just pulled through, they undeniably molded together to make this a very enjoyable experience. Im going to answer some questions I'm sure some of you are dying to know the answer to.
Does Peter Jackson go a little heavy on the CGI? Yes, yes he does, but what do expect when its Peter Jackson filming a dream like state give the guy a break.
Does Mark Wahlberg phone it in as usual? Surprisingly no, his role as a father trying to cope with the lost of his daughter is performed wonderfully. Personally I think this his best showing since Boogie Nights.
How does old Pete do with the scenes, not involving special effects? A lot better then one would expect, the story gets choppy in some spots and there are also scenes and characters that are just plain unnecessary, its sort of like Unforgiven in the way it sometimes takes a rest stop at some unnecessary junctions, and frankly i can think of about 20 minutes of footage that could be cut from this film, which is the main reason its probably so harshly frowned upon by mainstream critics.
Who is the best actor in the movie? Without a doubt Saoirse Ronan she actually makes a lot of the other actors look stale in comparison, she is just so alive in every scene and is in my opinion the best actor under 18 hell probably under 23 in the world today.
Wat are the movies main downfalls? Peter Jackson seems lost some times, and this kind of movie is a stretch for the poor guy, so yes the direction is shoddy but far from the massacre people are making it out to be. Also Rachel Weisz phoned it in for the most part, i mean god help her she tries but at the end of the day she just doesn't cut it, also even though she did great in her role Susan Sarandon's character is border line unnecessary, as well as the aforementioned 20 minutes of scenes that seem to be useless filler at best.
So why did you give it an 8/10 again? Easy it does what it sets out to do and does it beautifully sure there is this and that one could nit pick about, but at the end of the day all the pieces fall into place to tell a great story that explores the depths of every aspect of mankind from the innocent, to the mad, to the confused, to the evil its all here, and even though it might not be flawlessly executed it sure as hell is pretty captivating.
Thanks for reading, Ed.
The Reason Movies are Dying
OK, this is why the world is going no where in the way of cinema.
I have been called a fan boy or an art film elitist, but no thats not the case at all. The producers of Transformers clearly just took the naming rights of a cherished childhood cartoon and neglected to do anything with it nostalgia wise, while somehow not being able to make a single new convincing story.
Now when i first came into the theater i was expecting the Citizen Kane of giant robot movies, but there wasn't even any fan service, John Turturro makes what is sure to be a regrettable cameo for such a talented actor, I assume they where trying to add some credibility to a cast of what would otherwise be b-list actors. (Sans Bernie Mac whose cameo is negliable at best) The ad placement in this movie made me borderline ill, and the fact there was little to no fan service from a past series that had such a giant following and tons of material to choose from made me damn near dry heave
This is the kind of movies that are the reasons good films are dying, from the sub par acting to the nonsensical shallow plot, to the cliché dialog the whole thing reeks of Micheal Bay, and mediocrity which any one who takes movie making as an art form opposed to a circus should know by now are synonyms when it comes to film making.
I can only recommend this movie to drunken frat boys, and children that don't know any better, aside from that demographic STAY AWAY!