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Learning to Drive (2014) Poster

Quotes

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Wendy: At 21 years, we're on our third itch... or it's male menopause.

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Darwan: You can't always trust people to behave properly.

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Wendy: I just don't understand why men do that, wag their balls in your face.

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Darwan: Bad things can happen "just for a second."

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Debbie: [talking about blowjobs] It's way too much work. Oh my god. Why do you think they call it a job?

[Debbie and Wendy laugh]

Debbie: Oh my god. No, this mouth is retired, okay, with the full pension.

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Wendy: My sister and I were left alone to raise our mother.

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Wendy's Dad: A car is the greatest thing in the history of human invention. Forget your house, you can move in here. Sleep in the back, heat up a TV dinner in the engine, here's your shower

[starts wipers]

Wendy's Dad: , pee in the gas tank and when the spirit moves you, you just drive away.

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[first lines]

Darwan: Slow down. Park there. Mr. Yampolsky, you have followed all the rules. You'll pass your test tomorrow, I'm sure of it. And after you get your license, I suspect you'll buy the biggest, fastest car, and throw all the rules out of the window.

Student Driver: [scoffs]

Darwan: It is not a joke. Remember driving is a freedom. I wish you to enjoy every kind of freedom... As long as you don't hurt someone. You promise me?

Student Driver: Okay, Mr. Singh.

Darwan: Mr. Singh Tur.

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Wendy: Excuse me, you've never, you've never met her?

Darwan: She's from a village near where I grew up. My sister picked her out for me.

Wendy: If my sister picked out a husband for me, he would be some dick-less.

Darwan: Yes, you are better off... That is why you're alone and crazy.

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Darwan: I think you don't approve our arranged marriage - check your mirrors. I'll try to explain. We hold our families very close. They know you better than anyone else. They are more objective about who is the right person for you. If left to your own decisions, you could pick the wrong one. You choose to your ego.

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Ted: When did you ever notice anything, Wendy? On the rare case when you look up from your book or your fucking computer, you look right through me like I'm a ghost.

Wendy: Well, I'm looking through you now and you are a prick.

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Darwan: And it was stinky too, smeared all over with garlic paste!

Preet: Well, they said it'd keep the rattle snakes away in the desert.

Darwan: So why did the border guards didn't smell you coming?

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Darwan: [talking about driving] You can't always trust people to behave properly.

Wendy: [talking about Ted] Ain't that the truth?

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Wendy: [about the book, the joy of sex] Well, hand it. Let's see if there's anything we didn't cover.

[Ted hands her the book. She reads aloud]

Wendy: Missionary - check. Standing - check. Rear entry

[Both laugh]

Wendy: - Oh, check.

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Wendy: Let me get you some real money.

Darwan: I don't want anything, I like to help.

Wendy: You like to help? That is impossible. You can't be from New York.

Darwan: Yes, I am. From Queens.

Wendy: That's not really New York, but... You're very kind and I thank you.

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Darwan: I think it's time to discuss road rage. You must learn to be calm and relaxed. Not only to drive, But also in your life as well.

Wendy: And how do you manage that?

Darwan: Prayer helps me. I pray everyday.

Wendy: I'm mad at your God too.

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Wendy: Come on in...

Ted: You look fine.

Wendy: Therefore I am.

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Wendy: [attempting to parallel park] I'm lost.

Darwan: Wendy, how do you know if you put in... Enough salt and pepper when you're making a stew?

Wendy: You taste it.

Darwan: Right. So what do you do when you lose track of which way the car is pointing... When you parallel park?

Wendy: You taste it?

Darwan: You just let the car move back a tiny bit... And see which way it goes. Taste the direction.

Wendy: And then you adjust the seasoning?

Darwan: Right. You adjust a little bit and a little bit. And now I've made myself hungry. I'll go home and make myself a curry.

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Wendy: [driving through the parking garage] Look, here is America.

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Business Man: You don't understand how much I envy you. I love nothing more than to live a life of a mind.

Wendy: I'd like something to take my mind off my mind.

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Darwan: Pass him. Put on your signal, give it the gas.

Wendy: [she maneuvers smoothly]

Darwan: Very good. You only need a little courage, and a little gas.

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Wendy: You know there is a reason some people are alone... Because they deserve to be.

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Wendy: Darwan, thank you. I'll be hearing your voice in my head... For a long time.

Darwan: That would please me.

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Darwan: Wendy... Could we go...? Somewhere we can celebrate, a dinner, please? Or just a coffee sometime, just to chat.

Wendy: I can't.

Darwan: I want to see you again.

Wendy: I know. The trouble is...

Darwan: What? What?

Wendy: You're a good man. You are my faith.

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[last lines]

Jasleen: [arriving home with groceries] Darwan. I didn't expect you.

Darwan: Jasleen, Maybe I would not work at night anymore. Would you like that?

Jasleen: [big smile] Yes.

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Wendy: I unfriended god a long time ago

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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