[the group members are sharing their secrets]
Jeff Winger : I found the perfect girl for me, and then I met her kid.
[the characters break out in song]
Jeff Winger : I said it didn't bother me, but truthfully it did. I promised him I'd make it to a baseball game he had. But I bailed and never called again, and now I'm just exactly like my dad.
Britta Perry : I am an activist, that's always been my choice. Truth is I've never voted, except when I watch The Voice.
Annie Edison : I was struggling in history, I'm normally the best. I let Cornwallis rub my feet to give me all the answers to a test.
Troy Barnes : I caused the Greendale Fire of '03. Fifty-five acres went up in a blaze, all because I burned an ant hill.
Balloon Guide : [in a normal voice] There you are. Come on, guys.
Pierce Hawthorne : [singing] I've never slept with the great Eartha Kitt. We dry-humped inside of her tour bus.
Jeff Winger : And now my most terrible secret's out.
Shirley Bennett : Oh, Heaven, help us.
Annie Edison : We must be a mile above the ground.
Pierce Hawthorne : That's international airspace. We're literally above the law. Jeff can marry any man he wants.
Jeff Winger : Wait a second, guys. I think we're starting to go down.
Shirley Bennett : [Looking at Britta] You see? Prayer works.
Britta Perry : So does gravity, Shirley.
Shirley Bennett : And you know who invented gravity, right?