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The Bachelor Weekend (2013) Poster

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Davin: Hi. This is Davin. I'm a friend of Fionan's, who is marrying your sister. This weekend we're going, we are embarking, on a silent walking retreat with some transsexual friends of ours, in the rain. And we wanted to let you know that. And, eh, you can call me back, but it will be just as I say. And silent. And boring. And weird. Okay? Bye.

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Ruth: So what about hens in general? Or my hen? Such as some stupid needless ritual?

Fionan: Oh, er, no babe. I would happily go on your hen.

Ruth: You want to go on my hen?

Big Kevin: Okay Fionan. One of my favourite things to do is have sex with men. And even for me that's a bit too gay.

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Fionan: Yea. No. No way. No stags. Sorry.

Big Kevin: Fionan, have you ever even been on a stag?

Fionan: [nods his head, then hesitates] No.

Big Kevin: So not even a weekend walk?

Fionan: I don't enjoy being in exclusive male company for long periods. There's something forced about it. And false. All that banter. I just, I mean, under what other circumstances would we five ever agree to be in a tent, in the shitting rain, in mid November, all for the sake of some needless ritual?

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