Jonathan Barnavelt: [to Lewis] I can give you the right books, teach you the right spells, but that last 1%, that's up to you.
[the clock strikes]
Jonathan Barnavelt: Three gongs... last time it was four. What happens when it gets down to one?
Mrs. Zimmerman: Nothing good, that's for certain.
[last lines, when the Griffin's topiary waste splat onto the Chair with The End card]
Jonathan Barnavelt: Bad kitty! Use the litter box!
Jonathan Barnavelt: Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
Jonathan Barnavelt: [to Lewis] You'll see, things are quite different here.
Jonathan Barnavelt: There's a clock in the walls. We don't know what it does, except... something horrible.
Jonathan Barnavelt: Have a look around, it's perfectly safe...
[a tentacled monster opens a door, Jonathan shoves it back]
Lewis Barnavelt: THAT's safe?
Jonathan Barnavelt: As long as it's fed.
[a host of pumpkin monstes appear]
Mrs. Zimmerman: God, I hate pumpkins.