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Zoolander 2 (2016) Poster

(2016)

Quotes

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Mugatu: You're asking me why I killed Justin Bieber?

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Derek Zoolander: I'm going to retire, withdraw from public life, and become a hermit crab.

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Valentina: Please accept my apologies.

Derek Zoolander: None taken.

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Hansel: Is it true you have sex for ten hours?

Sting: No comment.

[silently]

Sting: Fifteen...

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Kiefer Sutherland: [to Hansel] I lost my baby.

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Mugatu: Shut up, Valentino! Just shut up! Everyone shut up! There is no Fountain of Youth!

Tommy Hilfiger: What?

Mugatu: I mean, Adam and Eve and Steve? Are you serious? You actually believed that crap?

Alexander Wang: What?

Mugatu: It's literally... it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! I get it if Alexander Wang believes it, but the rest of you, come on!

Anna Wintour: Oh, please. Without me, you'd still be cutting patterns at Men's Wearhouse.

Mugatu: Oh, look, it's the White Witch from Narnia! Oh, no, I'm sorry, it's just Anna Wintour! I'll knock your teeth out.

Anna Wintour: I'll rip your goddamn tongue out.

Mugatu: Check out the new spring collection from Hilfiger, brought to you by white privilege.

Tommy Hilfiger: You couldn't make a down jacket to save your life!

Mugatu: Asshole.

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[from trailer]

Mugatu: TODD! Where's my goddamn latté?

[he gets a cup, then pours it over him]

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One tenth of Hansel's Orgy: Where'd everybody go? I wasn't finished with that Hippo!

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Alexanya Atoz: Do you ever have feeling, where you see young teenage girl with perfect skin, and you want to kill her? And take her skin, and put it on your skin? We've bottled that feeling.

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Billy Zane: Think about it, man. This could be a sign!

Derek Zoolander: What if it's a stop sign, Billy?

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All: All is All.

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Hansel: [from trailer] OLD?

Derek Zoolander: [pronouncing the sign incorrectly] LAMÉ?

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Mugatu: He's still so hot right now!

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Sting: If you want to find the spirits in the material world you need to talk to the ghost in the machine.

Hansel: What? Who is this?

Sting: I have a message in a bottle for you, so don't go to the police.

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Derek Zoolander: Does being fat mean you're a terrible person? I'm really asking you, Hansel.

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Hansel: Neil Degrasse Tyson? You don't know who you are, either?

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Mugatu: You really are amazingly stupid, aren't you?

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Derek Zoolander: I hope you're not apopleptic because they're going to take a lot of pictures.

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Valentina: Who says swimsuit models are useless? Take me from behind, Zoolander. Grab on for safety... and buoyancy! We're going to swim to Rome.

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Katy Perry: Who-oo-oo-ooohh am-mm-mm-mm I-ah-ah-aye?

Hansel: That was beautiful...

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Hansel: My mom told me my dad was a beat cop.

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Derek Jr.: You're the most narcissistic person I've ever met.

Derek Zoolander: But that's not how I see myself.

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Billy Zane: Got your Netflix!

Derek Zoolander: [Opening envelopes] Jack Ryan! and Jack Reacher! Tonight's going to be a total jack off!

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Don Atari: [to Mugatu] You and SpongeBob were my biggest influence ever!

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Valentino Garavani: Blood of Steve! Blood of Steve!

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Hansel: I'll go get Derek, tell my Orgy I love them!

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Derek Zoolander: I've missed not knowing things with you.

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Derek Zoolander: I'm sorry, I can't understand a word that you're saying.

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Mugatu: Prison changed me! I'm bad to the core now!

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Wise Village Man: [to Latex BDSM] Hey... you are a basic bitch.

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Chazz Spencer: Members only. Members only. Epaulets are not a crime. Smart casual. Smart casual. Smart casual. Mr. Hammer is wrong!

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Valentina: [from trailer] Someone's trying to kill the world's most beautiful people.

Justin Bieber: [getting hunted by snipers] Oh, fudge!

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Mugatu: They're Sexy Fighting!

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Hasidic Man: Hansel, meaningless sex always makes me feel better about myself.

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Hansel: Neil, I gotta say, you're totally blowing my mind right now.

Neil deGrasse Tyson: That's what I do. I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson, bitch.

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Derek Zoolander: [Driving with his son, taking lots of Selfies with a Selfie Stick. The car drifts lanes and he swerves it back, sending it flying through the air until it comes crashing to a standstill] Hashtag Oops!

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Justin Bieber: You can't kill us all, we will protect the Chosen One!

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Mugatu: Prison changed me. I'm a psycho!

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Hansel: [Talking to Derek Jr. about his mother] I remember there was one night, she had me and your dad absolutely twisted in knots. I was driving the freak train, your dad's tearing tickets in the caboose... She had a mouth like Chinese finger cuffs, you know, where, like, you try to pull out but it just keeps getting tighter...

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Matt Lauer: And finally tonight, here's something to make you feel old. Incredible as it may sound, of the over 3.7 million high school graduates this year, less than 2% can tell you what a fax machine is, name a Caucasian president, or know who Derek Zoolander was!

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Hansel: WHO AM I!

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Derek Zoolander: We're back!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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