Annie Edison : You expect me to watch you do that without telling on you?
Jeff Winger : That's a hard-hitting question, Annie. Are you a reporter?
Annie Edison : No, they've got me editing the crossword because I'm a girl. And because I love crosswords!
Jeff Winger : Well, now you love the streets. You're my ace news hound.
Annie Edison : Ace? You can do that?
Jeff Winger : We can do anything we want. It's Greendale. Now go find me that story.
Abed : This character reboot is really gelling for you, Jeff. That was all classic Hawkeye. Sending soldiers out for liquor. Slyly sidestepping the problematic scrutiny of Annie "Hotlips" Edison. I should build you a still for making Hawkeye martinis.
Jeff Winger : Of all your pop culture fixations, this is one I can work with, Abed.
Abed : Call me Radar?
Jeff Winger : When you've earned it.
Jeff Winger : Who are you kidding, Abed? I just dragged a screaming, crying man out of a library with his pants down. No. Martinis are for Hawkeyes. I'm the same uptight jerk I was last semester.
Abed : Jeff, what's your favorite episode of M*A*S*H?
Jeff Winger : The one with, uh... the army.
Abed : That's what I thought. If you'd ever actually seen the show, you'd know that Hawkeye didn't just bed nurses and drink martinis. He also had blood sprayed on his face and barked orders when the choppers came in. If he didn't, people died. He was a leader, Jeff. That's your job.
Abed : Oh, you made me so happy I just peed a little.