"The Office" Secret Santa (TV Episode 2009) Poster

(TV Series)


Rainn Wilson: Dwight Schrute



  • [Phyllis, dressed as Santa Claus, is handing out the Secret Santa gifts while Michael, dressed as Jesus, sits sullenly in a chair heckling her with a karaoke machine] 

    Phyllis Vance : [to Dwight]  This just arrived from the Dunder Mifflin North Pole branch.

    Dwight Schrute : We don't have a North Pole branch, idiot.

    [he jumps up and snatches the parcel out of her hands] 

    Michael Scott : [sarcastic and deadpan]  Uh-oh, what's Dwight gonna get? What is it?

    Dwight Schrute : [opens the parcel to reveal another assembly piece for his gift]  YES!

    Michael Scott : Oh yes, it's space garbage. Dwight's gonna be able to build himself a friend.


    Michael Scott : Deck the halls with crappy gifts...

    Phyllis Vance : [moves to Stanley]  And Stanley, ho ho ho! You've been very good this year.

    [she hands him a small box] 

    Stanley Hudson : I have.

    [he takes the box and opens it] 

    Michael Scott : Yeah, except for cheating on your wife. Adultery's a sin, look it up in the Bible, people. What'd he get?

    Kevin Malone : He got scented candles.

    Michael Scott : Oh, well that's appropriate. Lot of fire where you're going, better get used to it. You're going to H-E-L-L double hockeysticks. Going to hell, Stanley.

    Angela Martin : Amen!

    Phyllis Vance : [moves to Angela and hands her a wrapped parcel]  And this brings us to you, little one.

    Michael Scott : I can't see from here, people. Somebody shout it out. Don't make me get up.

    Angela Martin : [opens the parcel]  It's fabric. I really wanted this.

    Michael Scott : That's fantastic. You can make another dress that goes past your feet.

    Angela Martin : Andy, was this you?

    Phyllis Vance : It's a secret. It was a secret.

    Michael Scott : No, Andy had... Erin.

    Andy Bernard : [uncomfortable]  That...

    Pam Beesly : Michael!

    Phyllis Vance : You...

    [sighs exasperatedly] 

    Michael Scott : [sarcastically]  What, was I not supposed to say...

    [Jim shuts off the karaoke machine, cutting Michael off] 

    Michael Scott : Wha... Turn it back on.

    Jim Halpert : No.

    [Michael drops the microphone, gets out of his chair and petulantly stalks into his office, slamming the door behind him] 

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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