Sookie Stackhouse: [to Bill, Eric and Pam] I don't want to look at your face, or any of your faces, for that matter. Go crawl back into your holes, you creepy, cold freaks.
Jason Stackhouse: Sometimes the right thing to do is the wrong thing.
Russell Edgington: Miss Stackhouse, I'd like to propose a deal.
Sookie Stackhouse: Oh, this ought to be good.
Russell Edgington: I will give you my word that I will not harm you or anyone you love.
Sookie Stackhouse: Steppin' around the fact that your word is worth about as much as tits on a turtle, what else?
Russell Edgington: One million dollars.
Sookie Stackhouse: Five.
Russell Edgington: Two.
Sookie Stackhouse: Seven.
Russell Edgington: O.K. Five.
Sookie Stackhouse: And what else?
Russell Edgington: I will kill Eric Northman and Bill Compton, both. Or neither. Or just one of your choosing.
Sookie Stackhouse: Both, and your house in Mississippi. I like that house.
Russell Edgington: Done.
Sookie Stackhouse: What do I have to do in return?
Russell Edgington: Release me!
Sookie Stackhouse: No!
Russell Edgington: Your father deserved it, you know.
Eric Northman: Just as you deserve this.
Russell Edgington: All I wanted was a couple of goats for my wolves.
Eric Northman: You slaughtered my entire family for a couple of goats?
Sookie Stackhouse: How did you know to come for me?
Alcide Herveaux: I'm here because Eric called me. Said he needed my help with something. Promised to settle all my dad's debts.
Sookie Stackhouse: Oh.
Alcide Herveaux: Why? You in trouble again?
Sookie Stackhouse: When am I not in trouble?
Eric Northman: If you two have finished eye-fucking each other, can we go?
Calvin Norris: We don't need none of your fucking help. We've been fine on our own for a long time.
Jason Stackhouse: Is that so? Cuz I see a lot of people who look dirty, and hungry, and kids who probably ain't in school. And several people obviously got dental problems.
Russell Edgington: [Chained to Eric] Use your gift.
Russell Edgington: I don't know how.
Russell Edgington: Yes, you do. Don't think about it. Don't try. I will not surrender to the true death. I will find a way to come back and kill your precious Viking and your brooding Mr. Compton and his unbearable progeny and anyone you ever cared about, and all because you didn't use your fucking power!
[Sookie is able to zap the chains open]
Russell Edgington: Well, it's about fucking time. Now drag me the fuck inside.
Sookie Stackhouse: [Sookie zaps him] You watch your fucking language.
Tara Thornton: Don't you think being a shape-shifter is something you should tell a person before you sleep with them?
Sam Merlotte: Maybe. If it is, I apologize.
Andy Bellefleur: You ain't thinking about tipping them off, are you? I know your new girl's from there.
Jason Stackhouse: There's all kinds of innocent people up there. Kids.
Andy Bellefleur: So we just let 'em sell drugs?
Jason Stackhouse: Well, if we stop 'em, somebody else is just gonna start up, right?
Andy Bellefleur: You just rationalized away all need for law enforcement!
Jason Stackhouse: I don't know what that means exactly...
Summer: [At Hoyt's "intervention"] I'll start.
Summer: "Dear Hoyt. I have known you ever since you were a safety patrol and helped me across the street every day. You always smiled and said 'hey' to me. I have watched that kind, caring boy grow into a fine, outstanding, great man. But now, instead of choosing life, you want to go back to a vampire who just wants to drink your blood, and it just breaks my heart".
Maxine Fortenberry: Oh, well, now.
Mr. Rakestraw: Mrs. Fortenberry.
Maxine Fortenberry: [Reads] "Dear Hoyt. You are my first, and only, born. And if you think I am going to sit back and watch you throw your life away on a redheaded dead girl you are sorely mistaken". There will be consequences.
Hoyt Fortenberry: Yeah? Like what?
Maxine Fortenberry: Like I will not let you back in my house.
Hoyt Fortenberry: I already left.
Maxine Fortenberry: I will disinherit you!
Hoyt Fortenberry: You don't have any money anyway.
Maxine Fortenberry: I am your *mother*!
Hoyt Fortenberry: You're a mean, prejudiced old control freak.
Mr. Rakestraw: Okay, let's just try-...
Hoyt Fortenberry: You just shut up. You're not even a real therapist. Everybody knows you got a bottle of Malibu Rum in your desk, so shut up.
[to Summer and Maxine]
Hoyt Fortenberry: Now, look. I love Jessica. I'm not leaving her. If you don't like it, you can't be a part of my life.
Lafayette Reynolds: What are you? Huh?
Jesus Velasquez: I'm a brujo. A witch.
Lafayette Reynolds: You're a witch. You're a witch who's a nurse who's a dude.
Sophie-Anne Leclerq: All right, bring me the girl. I have waited centuries to find a true fae. I can't wait to feel the sunlight on my skin again. Maybe I'll get a yacht.
Bill Compton: Sookie is not here. Yes, I brought you here under false pretenses. But I do have another surprise for you. Only one of us will leave this house.
Sophie-Anne Leclerq: You dare challenge me? I'm over twice your age.
Bill Compton: Yes. But I have nothing left to lose.