The Jon Dore Television Show Poster

Episode List

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2009

Aug. 2009
Fertility
"Everywhere you go nowadays, people are talking about testicles." When he was seven years old, Jon had surgery to correct an undescended testicle. His Aunt Kathy informs Jon that he may not be able to have children because of that early complication. In this heart-warming episode, Jon sets out to discover if he is fertile or not. He visits a urologist, argues with his balls and proves to everyone that he'll be a kick-ass role model for children.
 
21 Jan. 2009
Jon Fights Discrimination
When he is told that he must pay to enter a club on Ladies Night, Jon is inspired to fight for the rights of white heterosexual men everywhere and put an end to millions of years of discrimination. To really feel the chill of society's intolerance, Jon disguises himself as a multi-racial, overweight, half-blind, red-haired woman with a snake for a tail and takes to the streets. In a powerful, thought-provoking demonstration of his plan to end discrimination, Jon learns a powerful lesson about the importance of not being as dumb as a headless lemur.
 
28 Jan. 2009
Jon Gets Horny
At a friend's funeral, Jon is amazed by how horny he has become. Sporting a prominent erection, Jon awkwardly flees the church and meets Crissy: the sexy, curvy, crazy woman of his stupid dreams. No matter how much sex he has, though, Jon cannot lose the hard-on that controls him. To explore his relentless horniness, Jon becomes an internet porn star. In a touching and heart-warming ending, Jon teaches us all the true meaning of sex with inanimate objects.
 
4 Feb. 2009
Jon Gets Old
A crippling accident while attempting a trick at a local skate park leaves Jon feeling feeble and he decides he must settle down in his old age.
 
11 Feb. 2009
Jon Fights Violence
When Jon kicks his soundman in the balls for making a minor mistake on set, he is accused of being too violent. Amazed that anyone could find fault with him, Jon sets out to discover the true nature of violence. Are we born violent? Is a kick in the balls a prelude to nuclear annihilation? Can a human head be reattached with a little thread and carpenter's glue? In this action-packed episode, Jon learns that violence is never the answer, no matter how funny it may be to see someone get tagged in the nuts.
 
18 Feb. 2009
Jon Gets Competitive
When Jon's bowling team accuses him of not being competitive enough, Jon doesn't see what the big deal is, so they kick him off the team. After being shamefully dismissed, Jon vows to learn how to be more competitive. Inspired by a pregnant woman in her 70s, Jon realizes it's never too late to get obnoxious. So he sets out to learn trash talk from basketball players and transforms into a bloodthirsty competitor. With a fresh, fierce attitude, Jon forms a new team for the big game finale, but his new attitude has a strange effect on his old teammates.
 
4 Mar. 2009
Jon Lives a Lie
Tormented by the memory of the night he cheated on his girlfriend, Jon explores the misery of living a lie. See Jon Dore lead a procession of liars through the streets in a twisted pride parade! Gasp with delight as Jon imagines his girlfriend's violent revenge that leads to his testicles smoking on the bedroom floor! Squeal with interest as Jon discovers the truth about the night he cheated! It's the most compelling half-hour of television ever made by Jon Dore and his band of goons.
 
11 Mar. 2009
Jon Needs Quick Cash
When Jon's invited to a stag party in Vegas, he realizes he needs cash, and quick! To get it, he conjures up various ill-conceived plans like having a yard sale, selling his blood on the side of the road and prostitution, to no avail. In this thought-provoking and unforgettable episode, Jon manages to answer the question, "What's up with money, anyway?" So when his bizarre moneymaking invention causes chaos on the city streets, Jon learns that thinking is best left to the professionals.
 
18 Mar. 2009
Jon Saves the Planet
After burning his garbage outside his apartment, Jon is warned by Larry the Creepy Janitor that Jon's lifestyle is helping to destroy the planet. To find out how to save the planet from people like himself, Jon visits an eco-friendly farm where he learns that animals do not start out on Styrofoam plates, wrapped in plastic. Though Jon fails spectacularly as an environmentalist, he teaches us that a little knowledge is a truly dangerous thing, and that pissing yourself in front of an audience isn't funny when it's happening to you.
 
25 Mar. 2009
Jon Gets Haunted
Alone at night, Jon hears what sounds like breathing in the walls of his apartment. Believing that his apartment is haunted, Jon consults a ghost researcher and a psychic reader. He ultimately decides to make peace and maybe even get it on with the restless spirit. In a shocking and brain-melting ending that will change humanity forever, Jon learns the shocking truth about the disembodied voice.
 
1 Apr. 2009
Jon Wants Justice
When he discovers his bleach-stained clothes in the laundry room of his building, Jon wants justice - extreme justice! Fueled by revenge, Jon plays detective and determines that his prime suspect is "The Man in White". In a scene too shocking for civilized people, Jon exacts his revenge in a bizarre and extraordinary way. So what if he has the wrong man? It's funny.
 
8 Apr. 2009
Jon's Christmas
When he doesn't get what he wants for Christmas, Jon is pissed. Taking matters into his own hands, Jon confronts that rotund demon, Santa Claus, and a bloody brawl ensues. In this instant holiday classic, beloved comedian and humanitarian, Jon Dore, teaches us all the true meaning of Christmas. With an ending that will undoubtedly melt even the coldest heart, this very special episode is destined to replace "It's a Wonderful Life" as the most watched holiday show of all time.
 
15 Apr. 2009
Jon Does Drugs
Known to police as a tireless soldier in the war on drugs, Jon assists in the arrest of a pot smoker. When Jon learns about the medicinal uses of marijuana from his sickly neighbour, he's profoundly confused. Why are some drugs legal and others not? Deciding that the only way to understand the true effects of narcotics, Jon tries them all at once. In this harrowing and unflinching look at the drug subculture, Jon learns an important lesson about not peeing on his neighbours.
 

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