Tropic Thunder (2008) Poster

Jay Baruchel: Kevin Sandusky - Hot LZ

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Quotes 

  • Alpa Chino : No, I always wanted to. I guess I just never had the courage to ask. It's complicated.

    Kirk Lazarus : Nah! It's simple as pie man: you plant your feet on the ground, you look her square in the eyes you say "Hey! baby, you and me's goin' on a date, that's the end of the story". What's her name?

    Alpa Chino : ...Lance

    Kirk Lazarus : You say 'Listen here, Lance'... Lance? What the fuck did I just hear? Lance?

    Kevin Sandusky : Did you just say Lance?

    Alpa Chino : No! I said Nance. That's what I said, Nance.

    Kevin Sandusky : It sounded like Lance.

    Alpa Chino : Dammit, I'm Alpa Chino! 'I Love Tha Pussy', aight? Lay yo ass back down and look at the stars.

    Kirk Lazarus : When you wrote 'I Love Tha Pussy', was you thinking about danglin your dice on Lance's forehead?

  • Tugg Speedman : The dudes are emerging...

    Kirk Lazarus : [in black voice]  He's right, you know? I'm NOT Sergeant Lincoln Osiris...

    [rips off fake hair to reveal blonde hair] 

    Kirk Lazarus : [in Irish accent while taking fake sideburns off]  ... nor am I Father O'Mallie...

    Kirk Lazarus : [in low growl voice, while removing fake beard]  ... or Neil Armstrong...

    [Removes contact lenses to reveal blue eyes underneath] 

    Kirk Lazarus : [in natural Australian accent]  I... I think I might be nobody.

    Kevin Sandusky : Wow! The insecurity level with you guys is ridiculous!

  • Jeff Portnoy : Hey, Radar. Elvins.

    Kevin Sandusky : It's Kevin.

    Jeff Portnoy : Kev - whatever the fuck, come over here. I didn't tell you, but Fatties Fart 3 is coming down the pike and there's a role in there for you if you come over and untie me.

    Kevin Sandusky : Jeff, you're just going to have to tough it out.

    Jeff Portnoy : Your mother's a cankerous whore!

    Kevin Sandusky : Jesus, man!

    Jeff Portnoy : Hey, man, remember way back when I said your mother was a cankerous whore? I'm sorry, man. I did not mean that. She's not.

  • Alpa Chino : And why am I in this movie? Maybe it's because I just knew I had to represent, because they had one good part in here for a black man and they gave it to Crocodile Dundee!

    Kirk Lazarus : Pump your brakes, kid. That man's a national treasure.

    Alpa Chino : I just wanted to thrown another shrimp on your barbie!

    Kirk Lazarus : That shit ain't funny.

    Kevin Sandusky : Hey, fellas... it's hot! We're tired! It stinks!

    Alpa Chino : I ain't fuckin' with you, Kangaroo Jack. I'm sorry the dingo ate your baby!

    Kirk Lazarus : You know that's a true story? Lady lost a kid. You're about to cross some fuckin' lines.

    Kevin Sandusky : Guys, relax!

    Alpa Chino : You know what? Fuck that, man! I'm sick of this koala-huntin' nigga tellin' me-

    [is cut off as Lazarus slaps him; goes to punch back] 

    Kirk Lazarus : [blocking the punch and pulling Alpa into an embrace]  For four hundred years, that word has kept us down.

    Alpa Chino : What the fuck?

    Kirk Lazarus : Took a whole lotta tryin' just to get up that hill. Now we're up in the big leagues, gettin' our turn at bat. As long as we live, it's you and me, baby...

    Alpa Chino : [pulling away]  That's the theme song to The Jeffersons. Man, you really need help.

    Kirk Lazarus : Just because it's a theme song don't mean it's not true.

  • Kevin Sandusky : There's no way we make it over that ridge before sundown.

    Kirk Lazarus : All right fellas, we're gonna make camp, rest up. Y'all might be in for a treat. You know back before the war broke out I was a saucier in San Antone. I bet I could collar up some of them greens, yeah, some crawfish out the paddy, yo'! Ha! I'm makin' some crabapples for dessert now, yo! Hell yeah, ha!

    Alpa Chino : [mocking Kirk]  Hell yeah! Ha! That's how we all talk? We all talk like dis, "suh"? Yes suh, ha! Yeah mmm-hmm get some crawfish, and some ribs, ha! Ye-aah. You're Australian! Be Australian! Excuse me, Kangaroo Jack!

    [hops away like a kangaroo] 

    Kirk Lazarus : [confused]  I get excited about my foods, man.

  • Kevin Sandusky : You guys all read the script, right?

    Kirk Lazarus : I don't read the script, script reads me.

    [pause] 

    Kevin Sandusky : What the hell does that even mean?

    Kirk Lazarus : [shouting]  What you getting at with the book, scripts, spit that shit out, man!

    [He smiles then frowns] 

  • Kirk Lazarus : You gonna focus up now, motherfucker and say it! "It's me, Tugg!"

    Tugg Speedman : It's Me Tugg.

    Kirk Lazarus : That's right! Now, Tugg who?

    Tugg Speedman : Tugg who? I don't know. Who are you?

    Kirk Lazarus : Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.

    Kevin Sandusky : What?

    Kirk Lazarus : You a dude that don't know what dude he is!

    Tugg Speedman : Or are you a dude who has no idea what dude he is and claims to know what dude he is...

    Jeff Portnoy : What the fuck are you guys talking about?

    Tugg Speedman : ...by playing other dudes.

    Kirk Lazarus : I know what dude I am!

    Tugg Speedman : You're scared.

    Kirk Lazarus : I ain't scared. Scared of what?

    Tugg Speedman : Or scared of who?

    Kirk Lazarus : Scared of who!

    Kevin Sandusky : Come on guys. We really need to go!

    Tugg Speedman : Scared of you!

  • Kevin Sandusky : Now, if you recall that whole hullabaloo where Hollywood was split into schisms, some studios backing Blu-ray disc, others backing HD DVD. People thought it would come down to pixel rate or refresh rate, and they're pretty much the same. What it came down to was a combination between gamers and porn. Now, whichever format porno backs is usually the one that becomes the uh most successful. But, you know, Sony, every PlayStation 3 has a Blu-ray in it.

    Kirk Lazarus : You talkin' to me this whole time?

    Kevin Sandusky : I was talking to whoever was listening.

    Kirk Lazarus : Jesus Christ, man!

  • Kevin Sandusky : Tugg. Tugger. You're the last piece of the puzzle buddy. We need you! Your men need you. Are you with us?

    Tugg Speedman : [pause]  I'm a rooster illusion.

    Kevin Sandusky : Fuck it. We'll deal with him later.

  • Alpa Chino : And why am I in this movie? Maybe I just knew I had to represent, because they had one good part in it for a black man and they gave it to Crocodile Dundee.

    Kirk Lazarus : Pump your brakes, kid. That man is a national treasure.

    Alpa Chino : I just wanted to throw another shrimp on your Barbie.

    Kirk Lazarus : That shit ain't funny.

    Kevin Sandusky : Hey, fellas! It's hot! We're tired! It stinks!

    Alpa Chino : I'm just fucking with you, Kangaroo Jack! I'm sorry a dingo ate your baby.

    Kirk Lazarus : You know that's a true story? Lady lost her kid.

  • Kevin Sandusky : [Kevin walks up to Jeff and causes him to spill his heroin]  Hey Jeff what are you doin?

    Jeff Portnoy : Fuckin'. Nothing man I'm eating jelly beans.

    Kevin Sandusky : Whoa jelly beans can I have...

    Jeff Portnoy : No you can't have any fuckin' jelly beans! You think you're the only one who gets sick when he doesn't get his jelly beans? Boundaries man...

  • Kevin Sandusky : [Jeff staring at heroin]  Jeff! Don't!

    Jeff Portnoy : Doesn't matter what I do. I'll always be a screw-up no one will ever respect me.

    Kevin Sandusky : That is not true, you're not screw-up you make so many people laugh.

    Jeff Portnoy : They only laugh at my farts.

    Kevin Sandusky : Jeff, we really need to go now!

    Jeff Portnoy : This is all I deserve.

    [Jeff grabs the pile heroin] 

  • Kevin Sandusky : [to Jeff]  I got a baaaad feeling on this one there, Fats.

    Jeff Portnoy : [as Fats]  Our asses don't get fragged in this bullshit valley, first thing I'm doin' is payin' my two bucks so I can watch Brooklyn bust his cherry on a sweet little mama son's dinky-down poon-tang!

  • Kirk Lazarus : I know who I am! I'm a dude playing a dude disgused as another dude!

    Kevin Sandusky : What?

    Kirk Lazarus : You're a dude that don't know what dude he is!

    Tugg Speedman : Or are you a dude who has no idea what dude he is and claims to know what dude he is...

    Jeff Portnoy : What the fuck are you guys talking about?

    Tugg Speedman : - by playing other dudes?

  • Kirk Lazarus : Cover me!

    Kevin Sandusky : [Others are yelling at him to come back in helicopter]  How do we cover him?

  • Kevin Sandusky : Don't drink that water! That water's like a petri dish! Alpa, do you have any Booty Sweat?

  • Kevin Sandusky : Alpa, do you have any Booty Sweat?

    Kirk Lazarus : Yeah, get him chugging on some of Alpa's ass water. That'll bring him around. It's a cure-all. Man, what you coming out in movies for anyway? Did you need another revenue stream?

    Alpa Chino : For your information, my revenue stream currently generates U$2 million a year in charitable contributions for my community.

    Kirk Lazarus : Hot damn!

  • Kirk Lazarus : Your gonna focus up now, motherfucker and say it! "It's me, Tugg!"

    Tugg Speedman : It's Me Tugg.

    Kirk Lazarus : That's right! Now, Tugg who?

    Tugg Speedman : Tugg who? I don't know. Who are you?

    Kirk Lazarus : Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.

    Kevin Sandusky : What?

    Kirk Lazarus : You a dude that don't know what dude he is!

    Tugg Speedman : Or are you a dude who has no idea what dude he is and claims to know what dude he is...

    Jeff Portnoy : What the fuck are you guys talking about?

    Tugg Speedman : ...by playing other dudes.

    Kirk Lazarus : I know what dude I am!

    Tugg Speedman : You're scared.

    Kirk Lazarus : I ain't scared. Scared of what?

    Tugg Speedman : Or scared of who?

    Kirk Lazarus : Scared of who!

    Kevin Sandusky : Come on guys. We really need to go!

    Tugg Speedman : Scared of you!

  • Jeff Portnoy : Hey, look, man. I got something to tell ya.

    Kevin Sandusky : Okay.

    Jeff Portnoy : You know those jelly beans I was eating? Well, they weren't jelly beans. Kay? They were drugs.

    Kevin Sandusky : [sarcastic]  Really?

    Jeff Portnoy : I get down there near the mother load, I am done. I'm jonesing bad, man. I'm gonna fucking do all the heroin in the fucking world!

    [twitching] 

    Jeff Portnoy : If you guys wanna make it through this thing, you gotta strap me to a tree!

    [grabs him] 

    Kevin Sandusky : Uh, are you... are you serious?

    Jeff Portnoy : Yeah, I'm serious. Literally, a tree. And no matter what, you can't fucking untie me until it is done. Until it is out of my system. I'm gonna say "Hey, man, I'm cool. It's cool, I'm fine. I'm finally better, I'm finally better. Untie me." DON'T LISTEN TO ME! Anything I fucking say is a LIE!

    Kevin Sandusky : You got it.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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