[the Doctor thinks his programs is about to break down]
The Doctor: [to Janeway] I've had something on my conscience for a long time. After I was first activated, I kept a record of what I considered to be your most... questionable command decisions. It's in my personal database. I hope you'll delete the file without reading it.
The Doctor: [to Tuvok] Mr. Tuvok. I violated the most sacred trust between a physician and his patient. I told Mr. Neelix about the cutaneous eruption you developed on your...
[looks furtively around, realizing everyone else is listening]
The Doctor: That was indiscreet. I hope you can forgive me.
The Doctor: [to Kim] Ensign. At your recital last month, I told Lieutenant Torres that your saxophone playing reminded me of a wounded targ. I should have put it more delicately! I'm sorry!
The Doctor: [pushing Kim aside] Seven.
Seven of Nine: You should remain still.
The Doctor: You have no idea how difficult it's been, hiding my true feelings all these years, averting my eyes during your regular maintenance exams.
[the Doctor's holomatrix starts to glitch]
The Doctor: [falling on his knees] I know you could never have the same feelings for me, but I want you to know the truth. I love you, Seven.
[his program glitches again]
Seven of Nine: Your cognitive algorithms are malfunctioning.
The Doctor: [stands up and waves the others goodbye] Goodbye, my friends! Speak well of me!
[the Doctor disappears]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Is he...?
B'Elanna Torres: No, I've got him.
[the Doctor reappears, with his hand still held up]
The Doctor: What happened?
B'Elanna Torres: I deleted the extraneous subroutines.
The Doctor: I'm not going to decompile?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: You'll probably outlive us all.
[hands him back his mobile emitter]
Tom Paris: Doc - anything... else you'd like to confess?
[the Doctor is belting out an aria at full volume, when Captain Janeway enters, looking groggy and morose]
The Doctor: Captain. Computer, pause music. I didn't wake you, did I?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: That's all right, Doctor. Fifteen minutes of sleep is really all I need.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I hope you realize you've stranded Voyager in the Delta Quadrant.
The Doctor: What did you expect me to do? Let them kill you?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I expected you to follow my orders.
The Doctor: You might as well have been ordering me to put a phaser to your head. Voyager can survive without a warp core, but not without a captain.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Now it doesn't have either!
Nar: Guess this wasn't so useless after all.
[after using one of his collected engine components to knock Zet down]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Now, when you're on the holodeck with the Captain, there are two rules you have to follow.
The Doctor: I understand.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: First, leave your rank at the door.
The Doctor: Not a problem. The second?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: No opera.
The Doctor: I'd never admit this to anyone else, but there was a time when I would have given anything to be flesh and blood. But I've come to realize that being a hologram is far superior.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Really.
The Doctor: No offense. I'll always enjoy the company of organics.
Nar: Are you still interested in acquiring my inventory?
[the Doctor has taken on the appearance of B'Elanna, when Tom shows up with a covered tray]
Tom Paris: I thought since you didn't have time for lunch under the stars, maybe you'd settle for the glow of the warp core.
The Doctor, as B'Elanna Torres: How thoughtful. But I'm... not hungry.
Tom Paris: Well, I'm sure the baby is famished.
[removes the cover from the tray to reveal a pile of chicken drumsticks]
The Doctor, as B'Elanna Torres: A pregnant woman shouldn't eat this kind of food! Do you want to give me an arterial occlusion?
Tom Paris: [scoffs] One drumstick isn't gonna kill you. Besides, I won't tell the Doctor - if you won't.
[Janeway and the Doctor are held captive by two ex-Hierarchy members]
The Doctor: I'm sorry I put us in this position, Captain.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: You said you wanted us to spend more time together.
The Doctor: This isn't what I had in mind.
[the Doctor's mobile emitter is reprogrammed, causing him to look like an alien]
The Doctor: I trust this won't be permanent.
Nar: You're doing a wonderful job, Doctor.
[Zet frowns at him]
Nar: I'm just giving him a little encouragement.
Zet: That's why *I'm* in command.
[Tuvok is pointing a phaser at the Doctor, who has changed into B'Elanna]
The Doctor, as B'Elanna Torres: You wouldn't shoot a pregnant woman, would you?
The Doctor: Sit down and relax, Captain. You've got a hologram at the helm.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: With a hologram on board, who needs a crew?
The Doctor: The aliens took my program offline as soon as they boarded the Flyer. The captain reactivated me a few hours later and told me she'd been interrogated. Naturally, I examined her to make sure she was all right.
Chakotay: Did you find anything unusual?
The Doctor: I suppose I'm violating doctor-patient confidentiality by telling you this but, she was fine.