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(TV Series)

(2003)

Quotes

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Dennis Finch: All I need is your social security card and your mother's maiden name.

Elliot DiMauro: Here. My mother's maiden name is DiMauro.

Dennis Finch: Wait, her married name is DiMauro.

Elliot DiMauro: I know... What? A lot of people marry their second cousins.

Dennis Finch: Uh-huh. That would explain that freakish head of yours.

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Nina Van Horn: [seeing "Nina Man Horn"] Will the me who is not a hallucination please raise her hand. Well, as long as there's one me here, I'm going home.

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Nina Van Horn: Let me be sure I got this straight: you're a grown man who spends all his free time and energy imitating women and prance around for the amusement of others?

Robert 'Nina Man Horn': Uh-huh.

Nina Van Horn: Yes! I am a gay icon!

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Nina Van Horn: I just came from the hairdresser. How does it look?

Dennis Finch: I didn't know the Westminster Show was in town.

Nina Van Horn: Little tip, never tell describe your hairdresser's new pants with the words "very fat".

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Vicki Costa: You know, I used to do hair. Maybe I could have a try at your hair.

Nina Van Horn: Vicki, you were probably the best at Super Hair Cuts, but I wouldn't let you touch my hair.

Kevin Liotta: I'll do it, if I get to keep the hair.

Nina Van Horn: Vicki, you're the girl for me. And did I tell you that your pants make your ass look glorious?

Kevin Liotta: Thanks. I've been jumping rope.

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Nina Van Horn: You're like the daughter with a penis I never had.

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Vicki Costa: You probably think I'm crazy.

Maya Gallo: Not really. I have a secret fantasy that I was a federal agent. I even have a code name: Agent M. I'd be the first in the room, and I would be all, "Freeze, sucka! This is a raid!"

[Nina runs out of her office and slides to a stop]

Nina Van Horn: Don't you ever do that again!

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Elliot DiMauro: You dirty little blackmailer.

Dennis Finch: Blackmailer is such a dirty word. I prefer The Devil.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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