Tom Green: Hey, you're reading my book. Touch the book. Lick the book. Lick the book, lick the book, lick the book, lick the book, lick the book, lick the book, lick the book, lick the book, lick the book, lick the book. Book, book, book, book, book, book, book, book, book, book. Yeah, I haven't read it either. People with ADD, they aren't good readers. Wanna go shave a dog?
Tom Green: So some of you may have been mean to a kid with ADD. That's not cool. Coffee? Anyone for - coffee anyone? All right, sorry. I like cotton candy. Check out my muscle. Potato chips. It's a Ferris wheel. So I guess what I'm trying to say is - plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag.
Gandhi: I don't wanna live in a world where buds dis their homeboys. You're a high-school principal, you don't know what it's like to be lonely!
Scudworth: On the contrary, Gandhi. Some principals do feel loneliness. We're not the invincible gods that teen magazines would have you believe.
Gandhi: Then I guess there's no hope for guys like us...
Scudworth: There's always hope, Gandhi. When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons and make super-lemons. So go down to that Awareness Fair, stand up for what's right, and bring me back a funnel cake!
Cleopatra: And for a fundraiser I'm hosting an open-mouth kissing booth.
Joan of Arc: Oh, for herpes awareness?
Toots: Folks, you all know me. I'm Toots, Joan of Arc's foster grandpa. Now, I may be blind, but I can see certain things loud and clear. This is a room full of scared people making decisions based on fear and ignorance. Now, when I left the house this evening, I intended to go to Giovanni's Italian Restaurant. I can tell I'm in the wrong place. So, if you'll excuse me, I'll leave and let you get on with your meeting.
Singers: Did you hear? Did you hear? Gandhi has ADD? Incurable disease. Did you hear? Did you hear? Don't tell Paul Revere. Gandhi is contagious. Totally outrageous. A disease with initials. That's the worst kind. ADD has warped his mind. Did you hear? Did you hear? Don't tell Paul Revere! Don't tell Paul Revere! Don't tell Paul Revere!
Paul Revere: [riding by on a horse] TOOOOOOO LAAAAAAATTTTTE! Gandhi has ADD! Gandhi has ADD! You get it from toilet seats! Use a protective sheet!
Singers: Attention deficit disorder!