The Office (TV Series 2005–2013) Poster


Steve Carell: Michael Scott



  • [repeated line] 

    Michael Scott : That's what *she* said!

  • Michael Scott : I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

  • Michael Scott : [to Toby]  This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here.

  • Michael Scott : Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special - baseball cap on backward, baggy pants. He says something ordinary like, "Yo, that's shizzle". Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.

  • Michael Scott : If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

  • Michael Scott : [to whole office]  I... declare... BANKRUPTCY!

    [Later, Michael is in his office cutting credit cards with scissors. Oscar comes in] 

    Oscar Martinez : Hey, I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word bankruptcy and expect anything to happen.

    Michael Scott : I didn't say it, I declared it.

  • Michael Scott : Dwight, you ignorant slut!

  • Michael Scott : Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

  • Michael Scott : Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.

  • Michael Scott : Well, just tell him to call me ASAP as possible.

  • [Toby comes back from Costa Rica and surprises a distraught Michael] 

    Toby Flenderson : Hi, Mich...

    Michael Scott : No, God!... No, God, please, no!... No!... No!... Nooooo!

  • [blooper] 

    Michael Scott : I see the sales department are down there, they're in the engine room, and they are shoveling coal *into* the furnace. Right? I mean, who saw the movie Titanic? They were very important in the movie Titanic.

    Phyllis Lapin : Everyone in the engine room drowned.

    [entire cast erupts in laughter] 

  • Michael Scott : I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.

  • Michael Scott : I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.

    Jim Halpert : Oh, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.

    Michael Scott : No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.

    Phyllis Lapin : Afghani.

    Michael Scott : What?

    Phyllis Lapin : *Afghani.*

    Michael Scott : That's a dog.

    Pam Beesly : No, that's Afghan.

    Michael Scott : That's a shawl.

    Dwight Schrute : Wait, Canine Aids?

    Michael Scott : No, *humans* with AIDS.

    Creed Bratton : Who has AIDS? Wh...

    Jim Halpert : Guys, the Afghanistananis.

    Michael Scott : Ok, you know what? No. No!

    [Pam giggles to herself] 

    Michael Scott : AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

Recently Viewed