Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny (2006) Poster

Ronnie James Dio: Dio



  • JB : [narrating in song]  A long-ass fuckin' time ago in a town called Kickapoo / There lived a humble family religious through and through / But yea there was a black sheep and he knew just what to do / His name was young JB and he refused to step in line / A vision he did see of fucking rocking all the time / He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align...

    [young JB enters playing a guitar] 

    Lil' JB : [singing]  Oh, the dragon's balls were blazin' as I stepped into his cave / Then I sliced his fucking cockles with my long and shiny blade / 'Twas I who fucked the dragon, fuckalye sing fuckaloo / And if you try to fuck with me then I shall fuck you too / Gotta get it on in the party zone / I gotsta shoot a load in party zone / Gotta lick a toad in the party zone / Gotta suck a choad in the party zone!

    [Jack's father takes him to his room and spanks him with his belt. A guitar riff is heard starting] 

    Jack's Father : [singing]  You disobeyed my orders son, why were you ever born? / Your brother's ten times better than you, Jesus loves him more / This music that you've played for us comes from the depths of Hell / Rock 'n' roll's the Devil's work, he wants you to rebel.

    [begins to tear down JB's rock 'n' roll posters] 

    Jack's Father : You'll become a mindless puppet! Beelzebub will pull the strings! / Your heart will lose direction and chaos it will bring / You better shut your mouth, you better watch your tone / You're grounded for a week with no telephone / Don't let me hear ya cry, don't let me hear ya moan / You gotta praise the Lord when you're in my home!

    [Dad storms out, leaving only one poster: Ronnie James Dio] 

    Lil' JB : [singing to the poster]  Dio, can you hear me? I am lost and so alone / I'm asking for your guidance, won't you come down from your throne? / I need a tight compadre who will teach me how to rock / My father thinks you're evil, but, man, he can suck a cock / Rock is not the Devil's work, it's magical and rad / I'll never rock as long as I am stuck here with my dad.

    [the poster comes to life] 

    Ronnie James Dio : [singing]  I hear you brave young Jables, you are hungry for the rock / But to learn the ancient methods, secret doors you must unlock / Escape your father's clutches in this oppressive neighborhood / On a journey you must go to find the land of Hollywood / In the City of Fallen Angels, where the ocean meets the sand / You will form a strong alliance and the world's most awesome band / To find your fame and fortune, through the valley you must walk / You will face your inner demons, now go my son and ROCK!

    [JB jumps out the window and runs away from home] 

    JB : [narrating in song]  So he bailed from fucking Kickapoo with hunger in his heart / And he journeyed far and wide to find the secrets of his art / But in the end he knew that he would find his counterpart / Rock! / Rah-ha-ha-ha-hock / Rah-ha-ha-ha-ha...


    JB : Rock!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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