Scary Movie 3 (2003)
Simon Rex: George
George : Now everybody in the 202, throw your hands in the air 'cause Fat Joe is through / Now everybody in the 202, throw 'em up! Check it out / I'm a white boy, but my neck is red / I put Miracle Whip on my Wonder Bread / My face is pale, nah, I've never been in jail / Me and Buffy spend every winter at Vail / How many bitches have I slapped? Zero. Unh! / And Martha Stewart happens to be my hero / I grew up on a farm and I was born with no rhythm / Dr. Phil's my uncle and I like to hang with him / I can't dance / I wear khaki pants / My middle name's Lance / My Grandma's from France / So maybe I'm wack / 'Cause my skin ain't black / But you can't talk smack / 'Cause whitey just struck back
George : Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead.
Tom : Oh. I better tell her.
George : No, no, no. I can do it. Sue?
Sue : Yes?
George : You know your teacher, Miss Brenda?
Sue : Yeah.
George : She's dead!
Sue : Aah!
George : Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog!
Sue : My dog's dead?
George : I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!
Alien #1 : Wait please, we mean you no harm. We travel to your planet to find an evil little girl. We must destroy her before seven days.
George : You mean... You watched the video tape?
Alien #1 : Our satellite caught up what we thought was Pootie Tang, that was a week ago. And now our entire race will die, unless the girl is destroyed.
Tom : Aw, you see, they are peaceful.
Mahalik : If they so peaceful, man, why were they choking us a few minutes ago?
Alien #1 : Oh... that's how we say hello.
George : Well how do you guys say goodbye?
[an alien kicks George in the groin]
George : [in pain] I had to ask.
George : You guys ever wonder what it would be like to stop livin' up here
[puts hand up in the air]
George : and start livin' down here?
[puts hand down low]
Mahalik : Or what if we stop livin' over here
[puts his hand out to the side]
Mahalik : and move over there?
[puts his hand to the other side]
CJ : Shit, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there! But that bitch got evicted though.
Mahalik : For what?
CJ : Mice.
Mahalik : I thought she had rats?
CJ : No, rats are outside, mice are inside.
Mahalik : But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?
CJ : I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'.
Mahalik : That's because it's a rat, fool!
CJ : Damn! You mighta just made fact. That's some real shit right there! A-Ha!
George : Guys, I really don't see what this has anything to do with anything...
[Cindy comes home after leaving George to watch Cody and finds George sleeping on the table]
Cindy : Oh my God! What happened?
George : I don't know... we were play this great game, then I looked down and...
[He looks down at his dice]
George : Yahtzee!
[He stands up and bangs his head on the shelf, knocking himself out]
Mahalik : [to the Aliens] So, if they're friendly, then how come they choke us a few minutes ago?
Alien #1 : Oh, that's how we say hello.
George : Then how do you say good-bye?
[the Alien kicks him in the crotch]
George : Oooh... I had to ask...
Alien #1 : If you think that's unusual, then you should see how we pee.
[he starts peeing out of his finger]
President Harris : Oooooh, we are not so much different after all...
[the President starts peeing out of his finger also]
George : So, I'll be doing the rap battle at the 23 Club tomorrow night.
Brenda Meeks : Oh, I don't believe this shit.
George : Word! You two should come down! I'll be rappin', I'll be cappin', I'll be tappin', I'll be flappin', I'll be happen... ing. Ding, bing, wing. Yo!
Cindy : Sounds good!
George : Would, could, should, 'hood.
Brenda Meeks : Ugh!
George : Gug, mug, dug, bug.
George : Why is there an open casket?
Cindy : George it's a wake.
George : She's alive, Sue your teacher is alive!
Cindy : No George she's dead!
George : No Brenda! Don't die on me!
[starts doing CPR and mouth to mouth ressatession]
George : [people starts attacking george]
Mahalik : Hey get away from him broad!
[starts punches while complete caous ensues]
George : [takes two wires] clear!