The Rules of Attraction (2002) Poster

James Van Der Beek: Sean Bateman



  • Sean Bateman : (reading a love letter, voice-over): Got you. You're mine now. For the rest of the day, week, month, year, life. Have you guessed who I am? Sometimes I think you have. Sometimes when you're standing in a crowd I feel those sultry, dark eyes of yours stop on me. Are you too afraid to come up to me and let me know how you feel? I want to moan and writhe with you and I want to go up to you and kiss your mouth and pull you to me and say "I love you I love you I love you" while stripping. I want you so bad it stings. I want to kill the ugly girls that you're always with. Do you really like those boring, naive, coy, calculating girls or is it just for sex? The seeds of love have taken hold, and if we won't burn together, I'll burn alone.

  • Sean Bateman : Since when does fucking somebody else mean that I'm not faithful to you?

  • Sean Bateman : I just want to know you.

    Lauren : Nobody knows anyone. You will never ever know me.

  • [last lines] 

    Sean Bateman : I didn't know where I was going, some place unoccupied I hoped, at first I thought there were things about her I would never forget, But in the end all I could think about was-...

  • Sean Bateman : I only had sex with her because I'm in love with you.

  • Sean Bateman : I really did try to kill myself... right before I faked it.

  • Sean Bateman : Rock & roll.

  • Sean Bateman : No one ever ever knows anyone. You're not ever gonna know me.

    Paul : What the hell does that mean?

    Sean Bateman : It means, Paul, you're not ever gonna know me. Deal with it. Figure it out.

    Paul : Fuck you, Bateman! Fuck you Bateman!

  • Kelly : What's your name?

    Sean Bateman : Peter.

    Kelly : Aren't you a senior?

    Sean Bateman : No, I'm a freshman.

    Kelly : Really? I thought you were older.

    Sean Bateman : No, a freshman. Peter. Peter the Freshman.

  • Rupert : You want some coke?

    Sean Bateman : Um. Sure.

    Rupert : Then buy some of your own, bitch.

  • Sean Bateman : [Under his breath]  I need a case of beer.

    Paul Denton : A quesadilla?

    Sean Bateman : What?

    Paul Denton : A quesadilla? Mexican food? El Sombrero?

    Sean Bateman : El Sombrero closed a long time ago.

    Paul Denton : How 'bout tomorrow then? 7:30? I'll buy.

    Sean Bateman : [Hesitant]  Ah...


    Sean Bateman : You'll buy?

    Paul Denton : Totally buy.

    Sean Bateman : Rock 'n' roll.

  • Sean Bateman : Lauren wait, Lauren... Hey, hey Lauren

    Lauren : Oh My God!

    Sean Bateman : Can we talk?

    Lauren : NO!

    Sean Bateman : Lauren don't walk away. HEY! I really did try to kill myself... just before I faked it.

    Lauren : Wow Sean, it's over.

    Sean Bateman : No it's not!

    Lauren : Ya it is, I'm in love with somebody else.

    Sean Bateman : Who?

    Lauren : My old boyfriend Victor. Plus its none of your fucking business.

    Sean Bateman : Victor?

    Lauren : Ya.

    Sean Bateman : What, then why the fuck did you write me those letters?

    Lauren : Wow. Deal with it Sean it's over, Rock and Roll.

    Sean Bateman : Lauren I want to know you

    Lauren : What does that mean know me, know me, nobody ever knows anybody else, ever! You will never know me.

  • Sean Bateman : A great numb feeling washes over me as I let go of the past and look forward to the future. Pretend to be a vampire. I don't really need to pretend, because it's who I am, an emotional vampire. I've just come to expect it. Vampires are real. That I was born this way. That I feed off of other people's real emotions. Search for this night's prey. Who will it be?

  • Mitchell : Are you fucking crazy?

    Sean Bateman : Define crazy.

    [Shrieks like a lunatic] 

  • [aftergetting high, Sean starts to think] 

    Sean Bateman : I need to get some more pot. I'm running out. Then I need to get laid. Where the fuck was Lauren tonight? That Lara girl was kind of hot. I could bang her and feel good about it. But I'd rather have Lauren. I wonder why? It would just ruin my illusion of her purity. Whoa, is that really what I want?


    Sean Bateman : I need to get laid.


    Sean Bateman : Then I need to get more pot.

  • Sean Bateman : Are you here for that class?

    Lauren Hynde : The tutorial on the post modern condition? It's been cancelled.

    Sean Bateman : Typical.

    Lauren Hynde : I haven't seen you in it before.

    Sean Bateman : That's what's so typical. This was the first time I bothered to show up.

    Lauren Hynde : You've got bad timing.

    Sean Bateman : Saturdays suck. I don't have to put up with this bullshit. I'm dropping this class.

    Lauren Hynde : Me too.

    Sean Bateman : Really?

    Lauren Hynde : Yeah. I think I'm gonna change my major.

    Sean Bateman : To what?

    Lauren Hynde : I don't know yet. What's yours?

    Sean Bateman : I don't even know.

  • Sean Bateman : What's wrong? I told you I came.

    Lara : I was born in a Holiday Inn.

  • Sean Bateman : I wonder if Lauren goes wild during sex. I wonder if she comes easily. Or at all. I won't go to a bed with a girl who doesn't. If I can't make a girl come, then why bother? It's like asking questions in a letter. Hm, I'm hungry.

  • Sean Bateman : What about the cash, Marc? What about the fucking cash?

    Marc : What class? Who teaches that, man?

  • Sean Bateman : [post-sex, to Lara, who is sobbing sadly]  What's wrong? I told you I came.

    Lara : [gloomily sniffling]  I was born in a Holiday Inn.

    Sean Bateman : [voice of the mind]  Better that it's not Lauren. Note to self: Never 'shroom again. It only gets you into trouble.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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