The New Guy (2002) Poster


DJ Qualls: Dizzy



  • Luther : High school is a lot like prison: Bad food, high fences; the sex you want, you ain't gettin', the sex you gettin', you don't want. I've seen terrible things.

    Dizzy : Yesterday, an eighty-year-old librarian broke my penis.

    Luther : You win.

  • Danielle : I don't even know what to call you.

    Dizzy/Gil : Broke-dick seems to be popular.

  • Dizzy/Gil : Who's da bitch now?

  • Dizzy : Did we give up when Pearl Harbor was bombed?

    Football player #72 : Hey, I thought that movie made money.

  • Courtney : You wanna' come upstairs with me?

    Dizzy : Um... I...

    Courtney : You wanna' make out with me?

    Dizzy : Uh... oh well...

    Courtney : Wanna' take my clothes off with your teeth?

    Dizzy : [silence] 

    Courtney : Ok, you talked me into it!

    [as she moves towards the building] 

    Courtney : Aren't you coming?

    Dizzy : Almost...

  • Coach : You stole my horse, maggot! Do you know what the penalty is in this state for stealing another man's horse?

    Dizzy/Gil : Death?

    Coach : This isn't Iraq, son.

  • Dizzy/Gil : Don't make me do crazy eyes...

  • Tina : Didn't they tie you up last year and make you wear rubber breasts?

    Dizzy : You remember, that's really sweet! You know I've been thinking. We're seniors now, and um, maybe sometime if you wanted to drink coffee, you know, um, near me... I would pay!

    Tina : Truthfully, you're not my...

    Dizzy : Type.

  • Connor : What are you doing, freak?

    Dizzy : Knocking you into the hall, and me into the history books.

  • Dizzy : The point is, today nobody stuffed me in my locker or singed off my ass hair.

  • Dizzy : At least as blips we were invisible. If you break your dick in front of the whole school, people remember that.

  • Kirk : My dad loves this bike more than he loves me.

    Dizzy : That's not true.

    Kirk : Yeah it is. He wrote it in my birthday card.

  • Dizzy : We're not playing Everquest, Kirk, we're on planet Earth.

  • Kiki Pierce : [to Dizzy's dad]  I'm afraid your son has Tourettes Syndrome.

    Dizzy : Are you out of your fucking mind?

  • Mr. Undine : We got a homecoming dance coming up in a month or so and it has been the most god-awful experience for everyone involved, right Coach?

    [Coach winces] 

    Mr. Undine : Do you have any ideas on how we might turn this thing around?

    Dizzy/Gil : Good music?

    Mr. Undine : [Enlightened]  Music! Hey, that is a fantastic idea, son. You see that? Hey!

  • Dizzy : [stealing the mic from the Gospel preacher]  Ladies and gentleman! Brothers and sisters! I'd like to talk to you all about sex! The devil's middle name, sex! You know what the best form of sexual abstinence is? Being me. Can I get an amen?

    Nora : Amen!

    Dizzy : You wanna talk about some pain? Lemme hear ya! You wanna talk about pain?

    Gospel Singer : That boy's got the spirit.

    Reverend : He's an idiot.

    Dizzy : If ever a member of the opposite sex ever told you you are not her type...

    Crowd : AMEN!

    Dizzy : Let me hear you shout amen-ah! If you ever had duct tape-ah ripped off-ah your naked buttocks-ah...

    Crowd : AMEN!

    Dizzy : Let me hear you shout amen. If you ever had your manhood right-angled in front of the entire congregation, now let me hear you shout amen!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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