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Babes in Toyland (1997) Poster

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Barnaby Crookedman: Oh come, come, my dear. I offering far more than the place is worth. Even you father Could have seen that.

Mary: Mr. Barnaby, the factory is not for sale. Papa build this factory. Without it there wouldn't be any toyland.

Barnaby Crookedman: Hmm, how true. Which makes the thought of the old factory closing down, dovelly destressing, doesn't it.

Mary: Why would we close down?

Barnaby Crookedman: No toy orders from Santa Claus. It's all over toyland, that Tom Piper never returned from the North Pole. I even heard the goblins had him for dinner.

[snickering]

Tom Piper: [justed entered the room] Oh really, and how did I taste?

Barnaby Crookedman: Stay out of this Piper. And since, Santa's order is the mainstay of your business...

[looked at him, shocked]

Barnaby Crookedman: Piper?

Tom Piper: Hey, how you doing?

Mary: Barnaby, this meeting is over.

[She gives money back to Barnaby]

Mary: Take your money and get out.

Barnaby Crookedman: I'll take that as a no. But when I return, it won't be with an offer, but an ultimatum.

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Mary: [an army of goblins arrive at the town gate] Tom, it's the goblins.

Tom Piper: That's impossible, who lead them here?

Barnaby Crookedman: [to the Goblins and tipping his hat] Welcome to Toyland.

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Barnaby Crookedman: Dumpty, do you ever ponder the fragility of an egg?

[Points him with his can]

Mr. Dumpty: Now, cut that out!

Barnaby Crookedman: Imagine what may happen, if you were to find yourself... oh, let's say, atop a high wall.

[Barnaby and Dumpty on top on top of a town bridge. Barnaby taps Dumpty]

Barnaby Crookedman: You could have a great fall, and all the king's horses,

[swats Dumpty with his cane]

Barnaby Crookedman: and all the king's men,

[taps him again]

Barnaby Crookedman: could never put Humpty Dumpty...

[swats at Dumpty, but misses]

Barnaby Crookedman: TOGETHER AGAIN!

[catches Dumpty by the lanyard of the factory keys, over one side of the bridge]

Mr. Dumpty: Please, Barnaby...

[Barnaby snatches the key, cause the lanyard to break lanyard and send Dumpty falling and screaming before he crashed and broke beneath the bridge on the stone street floor]

Barnaby Crookedman: [chortles] Scat, he's all broken up. That makes two of us!

[snickering wickedly]

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Jill: You couldn't take us to such an awful place?

Gonzargo: I could too, couldn't I, Rod?

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Jill: Are you Tom's girlfriend?

Mary: I'm his boss.

Tom Piper: But... I think she'd rather be my girlfriend.

Mary: Right, when cats play fiddles.

[a cat playing "Here come the bride" to a newly wed plate and spoon with his fiddle]

Tom Piper: [laughing] What do you know, he's playing our song.

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Rodrigo: [repeatedly] SHUT UPPA YOUR MOUTH!

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Mr. Dumpty: Sure! Whoo, it's TOYLAND!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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