Meet Wally Sparks (1997)
Wally Sparks: I hear in Canada you only have sex doggy style; that way you can both see the hockey game.
Wally Sparks: Siskel and Ebert caught my show. They gave me one finger up.
Wally Sparks: I am here to spread Joy, tell me when you find her.
Wally Sparks: [Wally has just scratched his back against a woman] Thanks honey, stick around I might get jock itch.
Wally Sparks: The other day I saved a girl from being attacked: I changed my mind.
Wally Sparks: What a place, Canada; they started a country and no one showed up.
Wally Sparks: Remember folks, every man has his tale of woe. Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tale.
Wally Sparks: I looked up your family tree. Two dogs were using it.
Wally Sparks: And remember, it's lonely at the top, when there's no one on the bottom.
Wally Sparks: [the Judge nearly stabs Wally in the groin] I was just circumsized by Benihana.
Wally Sparks: [the Judge hits Wally in the butt with a sword; to camera] ooh, he got me right in the touché.
Wally Sparks: [Wally has exposed the affair between the Judge and Lola] Wow. it's looks like he's been banging more than his gavel.
Wally Sparks: [Judge Randell pushes Lola] I guess she misjudged the Judge.
Wally Sparks: Adios Judge
[slides down railing almost hits his groin on a railing sphere]
Wally Sparks: Aaahhh! Get me a ball buster.
Wally Sparks: [the Judge attacks Wally with a saber] Everybody run for the hills.
Wally Sparks: [sword fighting the judge] can't we talk this over
[saber nearly stabs him]
Wally Sparks: Ooh, I see your point.
Wally Sparks: [the Judge narrowly misses slashing Wally instead cuts flowers from a vase] fresh cut flowers.