Films to avoid before you dieby t-dooley-69-386916 | created - 08 May 2017 | updated - 01 Dec 2017 | Public
These are some of the films I wished I had not seen - some are way worse than others
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1. Robotropolis (2011)
Unrated | 85 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
A group of reporters are covering the unveiling of a new facility that is completely maintained by robot prototypes. When one of the robots goes haywire, the reporters find themselves not ... See full summary »
Robots go bad but not as bad as the script
2. Red Rose of Normandy (2011 Video)
Not Rated | 102 min | War
Caught in the middle of the advancing Allies and the fanatical Gestapo during World War II, Klaus and Klaudia must fight their way out, only to make one last stand together surrounded in the middle of the biggest invasion in world history.
No saving graces at all - except it ends - eventually
3. Kill the Messenger (2003 Video)
Not Rated | 83 min | Drama
Two rebel brother, Drake and Daniel, disguise themselves as Union soldiers in order to deliver a secret letter to a turncoat Union officer named Hatcher. When Drake gets injured, young ... See full summary »
Acting and a plot so bad that it defies adequate derision
4. Pompeii (2007– )
180 min | Drama
Epic drama of forbidden love in Pompeii at the city's height of glory, up to the eruption of Vesuvius in AD 79. We follow nobles, slaves, gladiators and the secret gatherings of early Christians. Mostly in English.
Three hour yawnathon with togas
5. The Poet (2007)
R | 96 min | Drama
At the dawn of World War 2, a Rabbi's daughter and a disenchanted German soldier fall in love and are separated by the war. They struggle on a perilous journey to find one another.
This has been rereleased more times than a homing pigeon and is still arse achingly bad
6. The Resistance (2011)
PG | 89 min | Action, Adventure, Drama
In a time of war, when occupation turns to genocide, one woman choose resistance over death and takes on the empire of Japan.
This is so bad it is almost funny.... then it really isnt
7. Yellow Rock (2011)
R | 89 min | Western
Five men ride into the eerie town of Yellow Rock, hoping to rescue a family member and his lost boy.
Actually just bad with more plot holes than I dont know what
8. Lost at War (2007 Video)
Not Rated | 93 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
This is a Twilight Zone type story that involves five soldiers out on a mission. And they soon find themselves stuck in a foxhole in an apparently deserted camp. Then strange things begin ... See full summary »
A classic in the 'cant turn it off quick enough' genre
9. The Seminarian (2010)
Unrated | 101 min | Drama, Romance
A closeted student at a conservative theological seminary, struggles to come to terms with his nurtured beliefs and coming out to himself, his friends, and his only surviving family member. At this low point mentally and emotionally, Ryan ends up in a troubled online relationship which leads him to question everything he has known about God and Love.
As much fun as wart hog bating in Siberia
10. Corruption.Gov (2010)
86 min | Thriller
African exchange student, Stan Rohamba arrives in the U.S., excited to be a part of the "model democratic system". While campaigning for a powerful American Senator, Stan uncovers a host of... See full summary »
This is the sort of badly written guff that makes you ask for your money back
11. Clash of Empires (2011)
R | 109 min | Action, Adventure
The Malay Chronicles: Bloodlines (released in Malaysia as "Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa") is an adventure feature film set against the backdrop of ancient Malay, Roman and Chinese ... See full summary »
It will make you laugh for all the wrong reasons
12. Okhota na Vervolfa (2009 Video)
111 min | Action, Adventure, War
Great Patriotic War, Fall 1942. Red Army Major Nikolay Sedov leads a squad of scouts deep behind enemy lines to gather intelligence on Wehrwolf, Adolf Hitler's new headquarters in Nazi-occupied Ukraine.
Too many issues to even begin having a go at this turkey
13. Dark Relic (2010 TV Movie)
88 min | Fantasy, Horror
The Holy Land, 1099AD. The end of the first Crusade. When the conflict began, Christian knight Sir Gregory lead over a hundred men, but now less than ten remain. They include his squire ... See full summary »
Laughably bad and a miserable waste of your time
14. And Quiet Flows the Don (2006– )
176 min | Drama, Romance, War
With World War I, the Bolshevik Revolution, and the Russian Civil War as backdrop, it's an old-fashioned, blood-and-guts narrative, filled with earthly humor and a wealth of colorful ... See full summary »
Its terrible in the dubbed version - but apparently quite good in Russian but I doubt it
15. Exquisite Corpse (I) (2010)
Not Rated | 102 min | Horror, Romance, Thriller
In this chilling modern-day Frankenstein tale, a brilliant young neuroscientist's world comes crashing down when his fiancée tragically drowns. After discovering a serum that can bring dead... See full summary »
So bad one can not begin to criticise
16. The Last Templar (2009– )
160 min | Adventure, Drama, Fantasy
An adaptation of Raymond Khoury's novel about a New York archaeologist researching the lost secrets of the medieval Knights Templar.
It could not have done anymore to be awful seriously one of the worst celluloid efforts ever
17. Pressed (2011)
Not Rated | 88 min | Action, Crime, Drama
Two joyriders Jesse and Sam discover something hidden in the back seat of the car that could change their lives forever. Brian, unknown to Jesse and Sam, is desperately trying to seek a "... See full summary »
Luke Goss is ok to be fair but it is still chunder worthy
18. Man at Bath (2010)
Unrated | 72 min | Drama
Between Gennevilliers and New York, Omar and Emmanuel go to great lengths to prove to each other they're no longer in love.
Un - noteworthy porn with an awful story line
19. Sword of War (2009)
R | 139 min | Drama, History, War
German Emperor Barbarossa will stop at nothing to conquer and build his empire. But a young man from Milan, along with his army of 900 men known as the Company of Death, is prepared to challenge the Emperor.
Some good fighting but it still blows big time
20. Brave (2007)
Not Rated | 92 min | Action
A young man is forced by the mafia to steal a bank's client data in exchange for his brother's life and discovers he and his brother have been set up.
You need a Victoria Cross for watching this
21. Septembers of Shiraz (2015)
PG-13 | 110 min | Thriller
Prior to the Iranian revolution it was a place where people of all religions were allowed to flourish. This is the story of a prosperous Jewish family who abandon everything before they are consumed by the passions of revolutionaries.
What were they thinking???
22. Hindenburg: The Last Flight (2011– )
180 min | Action, Drama, Thriller
About the supposed conspiracy that led to the catastrophic deadly crash of the Hindeburg zeppelin in 1937.
You will want the ship to blow up
23. The Hessen Conspiracy (2009)
Not Rated | 113 min | Crime, Drama, History
In 1945 a group of victorious American officers discover a stash of German jewels and try to fence them in New York.
Its got Billy Zane in it - nuff said
24. Return to the Hiding Place (2013)
PG-13 | 102 min | Drama, History, Thriller
When the Nazis begin killing Jews in Holland, a group of youth fight to save the lives of the innocent.
You will believe a man can act! - Only kidding it will make you want to clean the loo just to get away from it
25. The Lost Coast (2008)
Unrated | 74 min | Drama
As a group of old high school friends wander through San Francisco on Halloween night, two of them are forced to confront their unspoken sexual history.
The lost plot
26. Burnt by the Sun 2 (2010)
181 min | Drama, History, War
A look at the horrors of the Eastern Front of World War II from the points of view of repressed soldier of penal battalion and his young daughter, who stayed behind enemy lines.
Just watch the bit with the sea mine - pathetic oh and the plane taking a dump
27. The Aryan Couple (2004)
PG-13 | 120 min | Drama, War
A WWII Drama about a German/Jewish industrialist who, in order to ensure his family's safe passage out of Germany, is forced to hand over his business to the Nazis.
Only worth watching for the over acting
28. The Last Legion (2007)
PG-13 | 101 min | Action, Adventure, War
As the Roman empire crumbles, young Romulus Augustus flees the city and embarks on a perilous voyage to Britain to track down a legion of supporters.
Votes: 33,089 | Gross: $5.93M
29. Company K (2004)
R | 102 min | Drama, War
World War I troubled veteran Joe Delaney attempts to compile a history of his U.S. Marines company but nightmares about the German soldier he killed haunt him still.
How on Earth did this get made?
30. Only the Brave (2006)
R | 99 min | Drama, War
A searing portrait of war and prejudice, 'Only the Brave' takes you on a haunting journey into the hearts and minds of the forgotten heroes of WWII - the Japanese-American 100th/442nd. In ... See full summary »
Votes: 747 | Gross: $0.14M
Even worse than Company K, but only very slightly mind
31. Release (I) (2010)
R | 87 min | Drama, Romance
Father Jack is imprisoned for a crime that he has committed. The inmates suspect him of paedophilia and begin to persuade his teenage cellmate of this. His true crime is confessed to a prison guard with whom Jack has fallen in love.
You can have my copy - its that or landfill so take a hit for the planet
32. Police, Adjective (2009)
Not Rated | 113 min | Crime, Drama
A police officer refuses to arrest a young man for offering drugs to his friends.
Votes: 4,523 | Gross: $0.05M
This could have been a really good short film but is as rewarding as a used Lottery ticket
33. I Am Michael (2015)
Not Rated | 98 min | Biography, Drama, Romance
Based on the fascinating true-life story of Michael Glatze, a gay activist who becomes a Christian pastor after identifying as a heterosexual.
I am lost for words - I'll try meritless?
34. Borstal (2017)
87 min | Drama
Set in 1971, Kris is sentenced to two years in a rural Borstal.
Ticks all the cliche boxes for bad film making
35. The Night (2016)
Not Rated | 136 min | Drama
The story tells, from an accentuated hyper-realistic aesthetic, the life of Martin, a man in his forties who is desperately lonely and seeks, through sex, some company, to spend that time ... See full summary »
36. Kate Plays Christine (2016)
Not Rated | 112 min | Documentary, Biography, Drama
Terrible vanity project that is utterly devoid of any positives
37. The Ways of Man (2014)
70 min | Drama
A contemporary evocation of Judas Iscariot trying to escape from his own guilt after betraying his best friend. He wanders into a forest and lost in himself, meets a mysterious young man. ... See full summary »
Art house tosh
38. Dam999 (2011)
108 min | Adventure, Drama, Sci-Fi
After many years two mariners return to homeland with the hope of a new beginning, little did they know about a disaster that would change their destiny.
Avoid like a blind folded arse wiping contest
39. The Masked Saint (2016)
PG-13 | 105 min | Action, Biography, Crime
A pastor and professional wrestler accepts a position at a struggling church where he helps the community both in his official capacity and as his alter ego The Saint.
Votes: 566 | Gross: $0.12M
This one has a 'blindfold' so be warned
40. Helix (I) (2015)
98 min | Action, Mystery, Sci-Fi
A recently promoted cop's lavish new lifestyle is jeopardized when the central computer system that governs his futuristic city pins him for a murder he didn't commit. Now he must return to... See full summary »
It tried .... and failed big time
41. 1313: Giant Killer Bees! (2011 Video)
TV-14 | 80 min | Horror, Sci-Fi
A young college student inadvertently unleashes a global biological disaster in the form of giant, zombie, killer bees...
Ha Ha this is beyond terrible
42. The Pigman Murders (2015)
Not Rated | 75 min | Horror, Thriller
7 friends head to the wilderness of Connemara, Co. Galway for a weekend break to celebrate the first year anniversary of a close friend. First night in they come across a beaten and ... See full summary »
I am still in shock over this
43. The War I Knew (2014)
R | 97 min | Action, Drama, War
D-Day: A British paratroop squad are dropped off-target and wiped-out. Private Johnny Barrows is the only survivor; inexperienced, scared, lost behind enemy lines. Johnny must grow up and become a man on his perilous journey to safety.
The bad film I knew
44. My Honor Was Loyalty (2016)
PG-13 | 95 min | Drama, War
Untersharführer Ludwig Herckel (Leone Frisa), is a devoted and patriotic soldier of the elite 1st SS Panzer Division Leibstandarte SS Adolf Hitler. As the action begins, we follow a small ... See full summary »
Bad all round