My Best Worst Movies of 1981... (and in list order)by DukeEman | created - 9 months ago | updated - 9 months ago | Public
The Eighties were a great time for trashy movies. And these movies really made 1981 a real turkey, but fun...
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1. Polyester (1981)
R | 86 min | Comedy
A suburban housewife's world falls apart when she finds that her pornographer husband is serially unfaithful to her, her daughter is pregnant, and her son is suspected of being the foot-fetishist who's been breaking local women's feet.
The master of filthy trash gives us the sense of cinema sniffing....
2. Ms .45 (1981)
R | 80 min | Crime, Drama, Thriller
A timid and mute seamstress goes insane after being attacked and raped twice in one day, in which she takes to the streets of New York City after dark and randomly shoots men with a .45 caliber pistol.
The early musings of Ferrara and St. John in this neat chickflick revenge film...
3. The Beyond (1981)
R | 87 min | Horror
A young woman inherits an old hotel in Louisiana where, following a series of supernatural "accidents", she learns that the building was built over one of the entrances to Hell.
Votes: 19,030 | Gross: $0.12M
You can't have a trashy list without the maestro of B-grade trash, Lucio Fulci...
4. The Prowler (1981)
R | 89 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
An unknown killer, clad in World War II U.S. Army fatigues, stalks a small New Jersey town bent on reliving a 35 year-old double murder by focusing on a group of college kids holding an annual Spring Dance.
One of the better bad slasher films...
5. The Cannonball Run (1981)
PG | 95 min | Action, Comedy, Sport
A wide variety of eccentric competitors participate in a wild and illegal cross-country road race. However, the eccentric entrants will do anything to win the road race, including low-down, dirty tricks.
Votes: 31,721 | Gross: $72.18M
Hal Needham makes the best worst silly films, and Burt is a bonus...
6. Galaxy of Terror (1981)
R | 81 min | Action, Adventure, Horror
Science fiction suspense thriller, in which a rescue space ship crew meets up with horrors projected by their own imaginations.
What a ham of Sci-Fi
7. Porky's (1981)
R | 94 min | Comedy
In 1954, a group of Florida high school students try to help their buddy lose his virginity, which leads them to seeking revenge on a sleazy nightclub owner and his redneck sheriff brother for harassing them.
Votes: 36,535 | Gross: $111.29M
When teenager's and their wild hormones took on the box office...
8. Caveman (1981)
PG | 91 min | Comedy, Romance
A caveman seeks revenge on a much larger competitor for the hand of a beautiful cavewoman.
Votes: 6,797 | Gross: $15.97M
9. Nice Dreams (1981)
R | 88 min | Comedy, Crime
Disguised as ice cream vendors, Cheech and Chong make--and subsequently lose--millions of dollars selling a batch of marijuana with an unusual side effect.
Votes: 6,729 | Gross: $33.98M
Not their finest, but still worth a stoner's giggle...
10. Hell Night (1981)
R | 101 min | Horror, Thriller
Four college pledges are forced to spend the night in a deserted old mansion, where they are stalked by the monstrous survivor of a family massacre years earlier.
Nowadays they make college porn, but back in the Eighties it was college slasher films..
11. Private Lessons (1981)
R | 87 min | Comedy
An immigrant housemaid seduces a 15-year-old boy and later fakes her own death as part of his chauffeur's blackmail plot. Troubles arise when the two start to fall in love.
Votes: 3,160 | Gross: $26.28M
We just wanted to perve on Kristel...
12. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
R | 87 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
Mrs. Voorhees is dead, and Camp Crystal Lake is shut down, but a camp next to the infamous place is stalked by an unknown assailant.
Votes: 55,321 | Gross: $21.72M
Back to slashing with Jason...
13. Mommie Dearest (1981)
R | 129 min | Biography, Drama
Votes: 13,580 | Gross: $19.03M
Get out your coathangers...
14. Clash of the Titans (1981)
PG | 118 min | Action, Adventure, Family
Perseus (Harry Hamlin) must battle Medusa and the Kraken to save the Princess Andromeda (Judi Bowker).
Votes: 38,959 | Gross: $41.09M
15. Lady Chatterley's Lover (1981)
R | 104 min | Drama, Romance
After a crippling injury leaves her husband impotent, Lady Chatterly is torn between her love for her husband and her physical desires. With her husband's consent, she seeks out other means of fulfilling her needs.
We blame Kristel for making us watch it...
16. Comin' at Ya! (1981)
R | 91 min | Western
Tragedy strikes as two ruthless brothers kidnap a bride during her wedding. Hurt and angry, H.H. begins his quest to find the love he lost, and take vengeance upon the wicked. Comin' at Ya.
Votes: 450 | Gross: $12.00M
Saw this at the cinema when 3D was attempting a comeback, and this movie sucked big time...
17. Smokey Bites the Dust (1981)
PG | 87 min | Action, Comedy, Romance
This movie follows the rivalry between a small-town southern sheriff and a small-town teenaged thief who steals cars and destroys them with the sheriff's daughter by his side.
The bottom of the barrell...
18. Hot Bubblegum (1981)
R | 90 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance
Momo and Yudale take turns mounting Bentzi's foreign buxom cousin, but Yudale and her get stuck together. Momo raises the bar even further by proving the rumors of an accepting older buxom piano tutor, Fritzi. Bentzi looks for love.
Even the Israelis were attempting to break into the trashy teenage market...
19. Enter the Ninja (1981)
R | 99 min | Action, Crime, Drama
After just completing his training at a ninja school, an army vet travels to the Phillippines and finds himself battling a land grabber who wants his war-buddy's property. He must also ... See full summary »
Franco Nero doing Ninja moves is a hoot...
20. Nobody's Perfekt (1981)
PG | 96 min | Comedy
The story of a group of misfits living in Miami, and their revenge against government bureaucracy. After the city refuses to pay for the damage to their car caused by a pothole, the three ... See full summary »
It was not meant to be Kaplan's (Welcome Back Kotter) comeback...
21. Dead & Buried (1981)
R | 94 min | Horror, Mystery
A suspense horror film set in a small coastal town where, after a series of gory murders commited by mobs of townspeople against visiting tourists, the corpses begin to come back to life.
Votes: 9,276 | Gross: $0.22M
Dead and buried alright...
22. Endless Love (1981)
R | 116 min | Drama, Romance
A high-school student's love for a 15-year-old girl is thwarted by parental disapproval, circumstance, and accident; he burns down her family's house and is committed to psychiatric hospital.
Votes: 6,802 | Gross: $31.18M
Teen romance of the corniest kind...
23. Who Finds a Friend Finds a Treasure (1981)
108 min | Adventure, Comedy, Action
On a small pacific island, Alan and Charlie try to find a war treasure left behind by the Japanese army in World War II.
These buffoons do come up with the dregs...
24. The Amateur (1981)
R | 112 min | Crime, Thriller
A researcher for the CIA who convinces his superiors to send him to the eastern bloc in order to avenge the murder of his wife by enemy agents discovers a web of deception underneath his ... See full summary »
Votes: 746 | Gross: $6.89M
John Savage never made it beyond The Deer Hunter...
25. Deadly Blessing (1981)
R | 100 min | Horror
After her husband dies under mysterious circumstances, a widow becomes increasingly paranoid of the neighboring religious community that may have diabolical plans for her.
Votes: 4,622 | Gross: $8.28M
Not Craven's finest moment, but as a teenager this movie was a bore until the final scenes...
26. The Fan (1981)
R | 95 min | Drama, Horror, Thriller
Douglas, a record salesman, is an obsessive fan of actress Sally Ross. When his letters are rejected, he strikes out at her and her loved ones.
Managed to get a decent cast for this turkey...
27. Paternity (1981)
PG | 94 min | Comedy, Romance
A single man searches for a woman who will bear his baby with no strings attached.
Votes: 882 | Gross: $18.84M
I wonder if Burt ever sacked his agent after making a string of really bad films in the early Eighties...
28. Rich and Famous (1981)
R | 117 min | Drama
Liz and Merry Noel become friends as college roommates and their friendship endures over the years. Liz becomes a respected "serious" novelist. Merry Noel marries, has a daughter and writes... See full summary »
Votes: 1,470 | Gross: $14.49M
Legendary Cukor bows out with this cold turkey...
29. So Fine (1981)
R | 90 min | Comedy
While trying to get his father out of a financial jam, a man comes up with an idea that turns into an unexpected overnight financial fashion success - the bottomless pants.
The fall of Ryan O'Neil...
30. Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981)
PG | 93 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy
Mexico, 1840s. When the new Spanish Governor begins to grind the peasants under his heel, wealthy landowner Don Diego Vega follows in his late father's footsteps and becomes Zorro, the ... See full summary »
Votes: 3,894 | Gross: $11.12M
At least it was funny enough...