Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Thor: How did you end up here?
Korg: Well, I tried to start a revolution, but didn't print enough pamphlets so hardly anyone turned up. Except for my mum and her boyfriend, who I hate. As punishment, I was forced to be in here and become a gladiator. Bit of a promotional disaster that one, but I' m actually organizing another revolution. I don't know if you'd be interested in something like that? Do you reckon you'd be interested?
Hulk: Hulk always... always angry.
Thor: I know. We're the same, you and I. Just a couple of hot-headed fools.
Hulk: Yeah, same. Hulk like fire, Thor like water.
Thor: Well, we're kind of both like fire.
Hulk: But Hulk like real fire. Like... raging fire. Thor like smouldering fire.
[after knocking down Hulk, Thor approaches him]
Thor: [copies Black Widow] Hey, big guy. Sun's getting real low.
[Hulk grabs Thor and flattens him with repeated smashes into the floor]
Loki: [cheers] YES! That's what it feels like!
Loki: [to the Grandmaster] I'm just a big fan of the sport.
Bruce Banner: Last time we saw you, you were trying to kill everyone. What are you up to these days?
Loki: It varies from moment to moment.
Korg: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Korg. I'm kind of like the leader in here. I'm made of rocks, as you can see, but don't let that intimidate you. You don't need to be afraid, unless you're made of scissors! Just a little Rock, Paper, Scissors joke for you."
Thor: There was one time my brother transformed himself into a snake because he knows how much I like snakes, and so I picked the snake up to admire it, but then he turned back and went "AAHH! It's me!" And then he stabbed me. We were 8 at the time.
[Thor meets Loki, who is tied up]
[Thor throws something at him, to see if he's a mirage]
[a chained Thor is dropped from his cage to face Surtur in his throne]
Surtur: Thor, son of Odin.
Thor: Surtur! Son of... a bitch! You're still alive! I thought my father killed you like, half a million years ago.
Thor: Hela, the goddess of death, has invaded Asgard! And you and I had a fight.
Bruce Banner: Did I win?
Thor: No, I won! Easily!
Bruce Banner: That doesn't sound right...
Thor: Well, it's true!
[Thor turns on the Quinjet's computer and places his hand on the handprint scanner]
Quinjet Computer: Welcome. Voice activation required.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Thor, God of Thunder.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Son of Odin.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Strongest Avenger.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Strongest Avenger!
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Damn you, Stark. Point Break.
Quinjet Computer: Welcome, Point Break.
[the Hulk appears in the arena]
Loki: [horrorstruck] I have to get off this planet!
Thor: [to the Hulk] So much has happened since I last saw you! I lost my hammer, like yesterday, so that's still fresh. Then I went on a journey of self-discovery. Then I met you.
Hela: I am Hela, Odin's firstborn, commander of the legions of Asgard, the rightful heir to the throne and the Goddess of Death. My father is dead, as are the princes. You're welcome.
Hogun: Whoever you are, you will be stopped.
Hela: Whoever I am? Did you not just hear a word I said? I thought you would be glad to see me.
[Banner places his hand on the Quinjet's handprint scanner]
Quinjet Computer: Voice activation required.
Bruce Banner: Banner.
Quinjet Computer: Welcome, Strongest Avenger.
Thor: [about Mjolnir] Every time I threw it, it would always come back to me.
Korg: It sounds like you had a pretty special and intimate relationship with this hammer and that losing it was almost comparable to losing a loved one.
Thor: [pauses] That's a nice way of putting it.
Grandmaster: [from trailer] It's main event time. And now, I give you your Incredible, Astonishingly Savage...
[the Hulk bursts through the stadium door]
[everyone in the stadium looks confused]
Thor: Hey, hey! We know each other! He's a friend from work! Where have you been? Everybody thought you were dead! So much has happened since I last saw you. I lost my hammer like, yesterday so that's still pretty fresh. Loki, he's alive! Can you believe it? He's up there. Hey Loki! Look who it is!
[entering the Vault of Asgard]
Skurge: [awestruck] Asgard's treasures...
Hela: [knocks over the Infinity Gauntlet] Fake! Most of this stuff is fake anyway.
Hela: [looks at the Casket of Ancient Winters] Weak!
Hela: [looks at the Crown of Surtur] That's smaller than I expected.
Hela: [looks at the Tesseract] That's actually... not bad.
Hela: [approaches the Eternal Flame] Now this... this is truly special.
Korg: Hey, man. I'm Korg. We're gonna get outta here. Wanna come?
[Thor is thrown into Muspelheim in chains]
Thor: I know what you're thinking: "Oh no, Thor's in a cage. What happened?" Well, it's a long story...
[at a retirement home]
Loki: [in a dark suit] I left him right here.
Thor: [in casual wear] You mean on the pavement outside, or actually in the building currently being demolished?
Loki: How was I supposed to know? I can't see into the future, I'm not a witch!
Thor: Well, you're dressed like one.
Grandmaster: Hey Sparkles, here's the deal: you want to get back to ass-place, ass-berg, wherever you came from...
Grandmaster: Any contender who defeats my champion, they earn their freedom to leave.
Thor: Fine. Then point me in the direction of whoever's ass I have to kick!
Thor: We have to stop her here and now, and prevent Ragnarok, the end of everything! So I'm putting together a team.
Loki: Like the old days.
Thor: I don't hang with the Avengers anymore. It all got too corporate.
Thor: Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were going to fight side-by-side forever, but at the end of the day you're you and I'm me and... oh, maybe there's still good in you but... let's be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.
Loki: [emotional] Yeah... it's probably for the best that we'll never see each other again.
Thor: That's what you always wanted.
[pats Loki on the back]
Thor: Hey, let's do 'Get Help'.
Thor: 'Get Help'.
Thor: Come on. You love it.
Loki: I hate it.
Thor: It's great. It works every time.
Loki: It's humiliating.
Thor: Do you have a better plan?
Thor: We're doing it.
Loki: We are not doing 'Get Help'.
[Thor carries Loki out of the elevator in front of the guards]
Thor: Get help! Please! My brother is dying! Get help! Help him!
[as the guard approach them, Thor throws Loki at them, knocking them down]
Thor: A classic.
Loki: [gets up] I still hate it. It's humiliating.
Thor: Not for me, it's not.
Thor: I am Thor, son of Odin!
Hela: Really? You don't look like him.
Loki: Perhaps we can come to an arrangement...
Hela: YOU sound like him.
[the Hulk takes on Surtur]
Thor: Hulk, no! For once in your life, don't smash!
Hulk: But giant monster!
Surtur: Ragnarok can not be stopped, what makes you think you can succeed?
Thor: Because that's what heroes do!
[Thor throws Mjolnir at Hela, she catches it]
Thor: It's not possible.
Hela: Darling, you have no idea what's possible.
[Hela crushes the hammer]
Thor: How do I escape?
Heimdall: You're on a planet surrounded by doorways. Go through one.
Thor: Which one?
Heimdall: The big one!
Thor: If you knew where he was, why didn't you call me?
Dr. Stephen Strange: I had to tell you. He did not want to be disturbed. Your father. He had chosen to remain in exile. And you don't have a phone.
Thor: No, I don't have a phone but you could have sent me an electronic letter. It's called an email.
Dr. Stephen Strange: Yeah. Do you have a computer?
Thor: No. What for?
Thor: Where's Odin?
Loki: You just couldn't stay away, could you? Everything was fine without you. Asgard was prospering. You ruined everything! Ask them!
Thor: Where's Father? Did you kill him?
Loki: You have what you wanted. You have the independence you asked for. Ah!
[Thor puts Mjolnir on his chest]
Loki: ouch, ok! I know exactly where he is.
Loki: [Thor & Loki transport to NYC via Bifrost. Arrived at Shady Acres Care Home that's being demolished to ruins] I swear I left him right here.
Thor: Right here on the sidewalk or right here where the building's being demolished? Great planning!
Loki: How was I supposed to know? I can't the see the future. I'm not a witch.
Thor: No? Then why are you dressed like one?
Loki: [Annoyed] Hey!
Thor: I can't believe you're alive! I saw you die. I mourned you. I cried for you.
Loki: I'm... honored?
Dr. Stephen Strange: Thor, I sense a great change in your future. Destiny has dire plans for you, my friend.
Thor: I have dire plans for destiny.
Hela: Tell me about yourself, Skurge.
Skurge: Well, my dad was a stone mason and...
Hela: Yeah. Right. Ok. I'll just... I'll stop you there. What I meant was what's your ambition?
Skurge: I just want a chance to prove myself.
Hela: Recognition. Every great king had an executioner. Not just to execute people but to also execute their vision. But mainly to execute people. Still, it was a great honor. I was Odin's executioner. And now you shall be mine.
Loki: [brings back Surtur] By the Eternal Flame, you are reborn!
Thor: Life is about growth and change. But you, my dear god of mischief brother, just want to stay the same.
[Hela approaches Thor, seated on the throne of Asgard]
Hela: You're in my seat!
Loki: I'm sorry?
Hela: [draws a sword] Kneel, before your queen.
Thor: I don't think so.
Loki: Do you think it's right to go back to Earth?
Thor: Probably not. But like a lot of things in life, it should all work out all right.
Odin: Even with two eyes, you only see half of the picture.
Thor: [to Valkyrie] You know, I used to want to be a Valkyrie when I was younger, until I found out you were all women. There's nothing wrong with women, of course, I like women. Sometimes a little too much. Not in a creepy way, just more like a respectful appreciation. I think it's great, an elite force of women warriors.
Thor: My father once said, "A wise man never seeks out war..."
Hela: "But he must always be ready for it!"
Odin: Asgard is not a place, it's a people. And its people need your help.
Thor: [aboard the Commodore] Where are the weapons?
Valkyrie: There aren't any! The Grandmaster used the ship mainly for orgies.
Thor: [to Banner] Better not touch anything.
[Grandmaster is announcing the Hulk into the Sakaaran Arena]
Grandmaster: ...The champion! The Defending! I give you, your Incredible...
[Hulk enters the arena, roars]
Loki: [to himself] I have to get off this planet.
Grandmaster: [Runs into Loki as he is trying to run away] Whoa, whoa, where are you going? Sit down.
Hulk: HULK! HULK! HULK!
Thor: [to the Grandmaster] Hey! Hey! We know each other, he's a friend from work!
Thor: [to Hulk] Where have you been? Everyone thought you were dead! There's so much that's happened since I last saw you! I lost my hammer, like yesterday so that's still pretty fresh. Loki, Lok - Loki's alive, can you believe it? He's up there!
[Hulk glances at Loki]
Thor: Hey, Loki! Look who it is!
[Loki is horrorstruck]
Grandmaster: I love when you come to visit, 142. You keep bringing me just the best stuff. Whenever we get to talk to Topaz about Scrapper-142, what do I always say? She is, and it starts with a B.
Grandmaster: No. Not trash. Were you waiting to just call her that? It doesn't start with a B!
Hela: [to Thor] I'm not a queen, or a monster... I'm the godess of death! What were you the god of, again?
Dr. Stephen Strange: [gives up Loki to Thor] I think you can handle things from here.
Loki: [pulls out blades] Handle me? Who are you? You think you're some kind of sorcerer? Don't think for one minute, you second-rate...
Dr. Stephen Strange: Bye bye.
[sends Thor and Loki through a portal]
[a barber approaches Thor with blades]
Barber: Now hold still. My hands aren't as steady as they used to be!
Thor: [tough] I am Thor, god of thunder, and I say now, not one blade of my locks shall be severed!
Thor: [terrified] Please kind sir, please don't cut my hair! NOOOO!
Hela: [sees a mural of Odin's work] Look at these lies! Goblets and garden parties? Peace treaties? Odin. Proud to have it... shame of how he got it!
[tears down the mural to reveal a dark mural underneath]
Thor: I think we should disband the Revengers.
Loki: Hit her with a lightning blast.
Thor: I just hit her with the biggest lightning blast in the history of lightning. It did nothing.
Valkyrie: We just need to hold her off until everyone's on board.
Thor: It won't end there. The longer Hela's on Asgard, the more powerful she grows. She'll hunt us down. We need to stop her here and now.
Valkyrie: So what do we do?
Loki: I'm not doing 'get help'.
Bruce Banner: [points at his brain] Biggest muscle in the body.
Thor: I've got more muscle, so technically more brains!
Thor: I choose to run towards my problems, and not away from them. Because's that what heroes do.
Hela: It's come to my attention that you don't know who I am. I am Hela. Odin's firstborn. Commander of the legions of Asgard. The rightful heir to the throne and the Goddess of Death. My father is dead. As are the princes. You're welcome. We were once the seat of absolute power in the cosmos. Our supremacy was unchallenged. Yet Odin stopped at nine realms. Our destiny is to rule over all others. And I am here to restore that power. Kneel before me and rise into the ranks of my great conquest.
Hogun: Whoever you were, whatever you've done, surrender now or we will show you no mercy.
Hela: Whoever I am? Did you not listen to a word I said?
Thor: Has anyone here fought the Grandmaster's champion?
Korg: Yeah. Doug has. Hey, Doug. Could you come over here? Oh, yeah. I forgot. Doug's dead. Anyone who fights the Grandmaster's champion perished. You're not actually thinking about fighting him, are you?
Thor: Yes, I am. I'm gonna fight him, win, and get the hell off this planet!
Korg: That's exactly what Doug used to say! See you later, New Doug!
Odin: [points in the sky] Look at that. Remember this place... home.
Valkyrie: I've spent years, in a haze, trying to forget my past. Sakaar seemed like the best place to drink, and to forget... and to die, one day.
Thor: Well, I was thinking that you drink too much and it was probably gonna kill you.
Valkyrie: I don't plan to stop drinking. But... I don't wanna forget. I can't turn away anymore. So, if I'm gonna die, well, it might as well be driving my sword through the heart of that murderous hag.
Hela: You're still alive.
Thor: I love what you've done with the place. Redecorated and everything.
Hela: It would seem our father's solution to every problem was to cover it up.
Thor: Or cast it out. I would love for someone else to rule but it can't be you. You're just... the worst.
Hela: Okay. Get up. You're in my seat.
Loki: Do you really think it's a good idea to go back to earth?
Thor: Yes, of course. People on earth love me, I'm very popular.
Loki: Let me rephrase that. Do you really think it's a good idea to bring 'me' back to earth?
Thor: Probably not, to be honest. I wouldn't worry, Brother. I feel like everything's gonna work out fine.
Grandmaster: Time works real different around these parts. On any other world I would be millions of years old but here on Sakaar...
[leers at Loki, unnerving him]
Bruce Banner: You're just using me to get to the Hulk. That's low. You're not my friend.
Thor: No, no, no. I don't even like Hulk. He's always like, grr... smash, smash, smash. I prefer you.
Thor: [sees residents of Sakaar] Hi there...
[they put him in a net]
Thor: Quite unique. It was made from this special metal from the heart of a dying star. And when i spun it really, really fast it gave me the ability to fly.
Korg: You rode a hammer?
Thor: No, I didn't ride the hammer
Korg: The hammer ride you on your back?
Thor: No, I would spin it really fast and it would pull me off the...
Korg: Oh my god, the hammer pulled you off?
Thor: The ground! It would pull me off the ground, into the air and I would fly.
Grandmaster: Slaves is such a harsh word, I prefer "prisoners with benefits."
Barber: Don't you move. My hands aren't as steady as they used to be.
Grandmaster: Carlo, I spare you. I spare you from life.
Bruce Banner: I don't know how to fly this thing!
Thor: You're a doctor. You have PhDs. You should figure it out.
Bruce Banner: None of them for flying alien spaceships!
[after defeating the Einherjar]
Hela: Oh, I've missed this! Still, it's a shame. Good soldiers dying for nothing all because they couldn't see the future. Oh, look. Still alive.
[Hogun weakly stands up]
Hela: Change of heart?
Hogun: Go back to whatever chamber you crept out of, you evil demoness!
[Hela stabs Hogun]
Grandmaster: I just, I gotta say. I'm proud of you all. This revolution has been a huge success. Yay us! Pat, pat on the back. Pat on the back. Come on. No? Me, too. 'Cause I've been a big part of it. Can't have a revolution without somebody to overthrow! So, ah, you're welcome. And, uh, it's a tie.
Korg: [Asgard is now in ruins] The damage is not too bad. As long as the foundations are still strong, we can rebuild this place. It will become a haven for all peoples and aliens of the universe.
Korg: Oof. Now those foundations are gone. Sorry.