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Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) Poster

Quotes

[Bethany has become Shelly Oberon]

Professor Shelly Oberon: [sees her reflection] NOO! I'm an over-weight middle-aged man!

Professor Shelly Oberon: [bids farewell to his manhood] Later, dude.

Moose Finbar: [rides an elephant] Zoology bitch!

[Professor Oberon gets eaten by a hippo]

Moose Finbar: You better go in there and save her!

Dr. Smolder Bravestone: I'm not gonna get in there, you get in there!

Moose Finbar: I got a backpack on! You don't get in water with a backpack, everybody knows that.

Dr. Smolder Bravestone: Get on my back!

Moose Finbar: I would rather die.

[cut to Bravestone carrying Moose on his bacl]

[Martha has become Ruby Roundhouse]

Ruby Roundhouse: Why am I wearing half a shirt and short shorts in the JUNGLE?

[Bethany saves Alex, he hugs her]

Moose Finbar: Uh... you have a situation.

Professor Shelly Oberon: [sees he has an erection] Oh my God! These things are crazy!

[a troop of motorcycle killers appear]

Dr. Smolder Bravestone: This is a video game, which means we have special skills.

[Bravestone runs at super speed]

Moose Finbar: Why am I running so slow?

Moose Finbar: [when he sees all his weaknesses] I hate this game.

Professor Shelly Oberon: Oh my God, this is so cool! Martha, come look at my penis!

Ruby Roundhouse: No, thanks!

Ruby RoundhouseDr. Smolder BravestoneMoose FinbarProfessor Shelly OberonAlex: [as Bravestone places the Jaguar's Eye onto the statue] JUMANJI!

Martha: [sarcasm] Are you gonna help, or are you too pretty?

Bethany: [serious] I'm too pretty.

[from trailer]

Ruby Roundhouse: Guys, how are we gonna get home?

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Dr. Smolder Bravestone: I can't do this!

Moose Finbar: I saw you fix a helicopter in mid-air!

Dr. Smolder Bravestone: It's easy to be a hero when you have lives to spare... it's a lot harder when you have just one.

Moose Finbar: We have only one life. That's how it is.

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Dr. Smolder Bravestone: I want to stay with you, like this.

Ruby Roundhouse: Then let's be like this, every day... in the real world.

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[Fridge rushes by Martha and nearly knocks her down]

Martha: Hey, person walking!

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Boy at Bazaar: What you seek is in the basket / If you're not careful, you'll be in a casket / Trust each other, and never blink / The missing piece is not what you think.

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Professor Shelly Oberon: [to Martha] Aren't you being judgmental about others, because you'd burn people rather than get burned yourself? I'm just saying, you're a babe, go with it.

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Moose Finbar: Get me the hell out of here!

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[Dr Bravestone retrieves the Jaguar's Eye from a herd of angry rhinos, by sacrificing Moose]

Moose Finbar: You do NOT want to know what's under those rhinos! I saw things I can never unsee, things that touched me!

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Ruby Roundhouse: Could I borrow your jacket? I feel like I'm wearing a bikini.

Professor Shelly Oberon: I once wore a bikini to school.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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