Trick 'r Treat (2007)
[the kids on their way to the location of the Halloween School Bus Massacre]
Chip: You must really like Halloween.
Rhonda: You mean Samhain?
Rhonda: Samhain, also known as All Hallows' Eve, also known as Halloween. Pre-dating Christianity, the Celtic holiday was celebrated on the one night between autumn and winter when the barrier between the living and the dead was thinnest and often involved rituals that included human sacrifice.
Rhonda: I like your eye patch.
Steven: Wait. There's another tradition.
[looks at Charlie]
Steven: Always check your candy.
[Steven gets prepared to bury Charlie's body in the backyard]
Steven: [Steven takes the tarp off of Charlie] Happy Halloween.
Billy: [shouting from the top floor bedroom window] Daddy! I'm back from Trick-or-Treating!
Steven: [whispers] Billy. Shh. Please, be quiet.
Billy: [shouts] Why?
Steven: Because you'll bother the neighbors, now go watch Charlie Brown and I'll be in in a minute.
Billy: Charlie's Brown's an asshole!
Steven: Billy Wilkens! Language.
[Steven sighs continuing to bury Charlie]
Halloween Commercial Man: During the spookiest time of the year there are a few guidelines all ghosts and goblins should follow. Always stay on sidewalks. Never go to a strangers house, and never go out alone.
[the B&W commercial cuts]
Emma: [Sarcastically] This was a great idea, honey. Really. It's just magical. It makes me wish every night was Halloween.
Henry: I'm sorry Em. Wait, wait. Not yet.
Henry: You're supposed to keep it lit.
Henry: Ancient tradition?
Emma: Henry, it's Halloween, not Hanukkah. Baby, I'm lit and you're lit.
Henry: But honey...
Emma: But our little friend here? His night's over.
[Em blows out the jack-o'-lantern]
Henry: You know, there are rules, you should be more careful. You might upset someone.
Emma: Oh, please. Who?
[Sam watches from across the street]
[Steven tries to bury Charlie in the backyard when the neighbor dog Spike barks at him through the fence]
Mr. Kreeg: Spike! Spike! Get your ass in here. Are you finished crapping or what?
[Steven hides in the hole when Charlie kicks and grunts]
Mr. Kreeg: Who the hell is that?
[Steven kicks Charlie to shut up]
Steven: I've got an NRA membership in my pocket and a shotgun over the fireplace, so get outta here before I...
Mr. Kreeg: It's me, Mr. Kreeg. Steven, Steven Wilkins.
Steven: What in God's name are you doing down there, Wilkins? Hiding Bodies?
[Steven kicks Charlie again as he grunts from the bag]
Mr. Kreeg: What did you say?
Steven: Nothing, its... Uh, septic tank is acting up.
Mr. Kreeg: Is that what that smell is?
Steven: I'm afraid so.
Mr. Kreeg: Then fix it. It stinks like a dead whore out here.
[kicks Charlie again]
Mr. Kreeg: And keep your kid out of my yard. Goddamn freak.
[Mr. Kreeg heads back to his house]
Steven: Happy Halloween.
Mr. Kreeg: Screw you!
[Mr. Kreeg slams his back door]
[the kids show up to pick up Rhonda from her decorated jack-o'-lantern home as she walks out]
Sara: This is weird.
Chip: [Chip points] Is that Rhonda the retard?
Macy: She's not a retard. She's an idiot savant.
Sara: Here she comes.
Macy: You're on Schrader.
[the rest of the kids walk ahead]
Schrader: Did you carve all of these yourself?
Rhonda: Yeah. Made my costume too. Like it?
Schrader: [smiles] I do. I'm Schrader.
Rhonda: [smiles] Rhonda.
[the girls set up the dead corpses around the fire]
Laurie: I'm nervous.
Danielle: [combs the front of her hair] Hey. You're gonna be fine. Just be yourself.
Laurie: It's my first time so... just bear with me.
[the girls begin to dance, snarl, and hiss]
Steven: What are you doing?
[the girls' skin begins to rip, peel, with growls, as Steven begins to scream]
Laurie: My, my what big eyes you have.
[Laurie throws her back up and then strikes down to bite Steven's neck as he screams with horror]
[the girls talking behind the dressing room doors before walking out as Disney princesses]
Laurie: I am not wearing this. It's too small. And my tits keep popping out.
Danielle: That's the idea.
Laurie: I don't know why we drove out here when there are perfectly good guys in the city.
Janet: Fresh meat.
Maria: It's what we do every Halloween, Laurie.
Laurie: Whatever happened to Trick or Treating?
Janet: Last year we were in Tampa.
Maria: And we went as sexy nurses.
Danielle: No Janet, Tampa was two years ago, I remember because you puked doing a guy in his pickup truck.
Janet: I ate some bad Mexican, and it was a jeep.
Danielle: Last year was San Diego. We dressed as sailors and ended up with sailors.
Janet: Yeah, and Maria's sailor was a girl.
Maria: So what, she had a nice ass, it all tastes the same to me anyway.
[the response of the kids after Macy tells them the school bus massacre story]
Sara: You are so full of shit.
Macy: Really? Well, then I guess you won't mind being first.
Sara: First what?
Macy: Eight victim, eight jack-o'-lanterns, each one representing a lost soul. So we're going to leave them by the side of the lake as an offering to those who died.
[the kids take off their masks and reveal their joke to Rhonda]
Macy: And it was all going so well.
Rhonda: [sobbing, muttering] You're all dead!
Schrader: Rhonda, calm down. It was all just a trick. Look, none of this is real. It was just a trick. A bad joke.
Macy: I'd say it was a pretty good one.
Schrader: Shut up.
[the TV reporter on the streets of Warren Valley, OH]
Reporter: Werewolves, zombies and demons of every variety. They've all descended on the normally sleepy town of Warren Valley, OH. Where the holiday and all of its strange traditions are taken very seriously. It's only 8:00 and the streets are already packed with costumed visitors. Some to show off, others to blend in, but all to celebrate the magical night of Halloween. The one night a year where we can pretend to be the scariest thing we think of.
[Steven Wilkens drags Charlie into the house when he gets some unexpected Trick or Treaters]
[the kids knock saying Trick or Treat!]
Chip: We know you're in there.
Sara: We can see you.
Steven: [the kids start pounding and ringing the door bell as Mr. Wilken's screams] Just a minute!
[Steven opens the door and the kids scream at his bloody chocolate covered shirt]
Steven: Wait. No, no. Shh, shh. No.
[the kids start laughing]
Chip: Uh, great costume, Mr. Wilkens.
Steven: [muttering] Oh, right, candy.
Macy: Uh, Principal Wilkens, do you think that we might be able to have your jack-o'-lantern, please?
Steven: You're not gonna smash it, are you?
Macy: No, it's a scavenger hunt, for UNICEF.
[Macy smiles then gets nervous]
Steven: Anything for a good cause.
[Chip notices the blood trail leading from Steven's porch into his home, Chip slowly looks up at him]
Steven: [whispers] Happy Halloween.
Chip: Yeah. Happy Halloween.
[Chip leaves and reveals Sam standing behind him]
Steven: [Steven jiggles the candy bowl at Sam] Did you get one?
[Sam quickly grabs a candy before walking down the porch steps, Sam drag his candy bag that let's out what sounds like a cat screaming when Steven closes the front door]
[Mr. Kreeg walks into his home after a long night of Halloween, and one second after he closes the door there's another knock]
Vampire Kid: [Mr. Kreeg opens the door to see the eight Halloween School Bus Massacre kids in costume, hearing a whisper] Over here.
Vampire Kid: [the camera focuses on the Vampire Kid who holds up his Halloween bag, whispering] Trick or treat.
[Mr. Kreeg screams]
Sara: That bus is around here somewhere. I think it's over here.
Schrader: Over where? I can't see shit in this fog. Think I found a dead retard.
Macy: That's me asshole.
Schrader: Like I said.
Macy: Both of you shut up and keep looking.
Schrader: There's something moving by that rock.
Macy: I can't see.
Sara: Jesus, what is that?
Sara: Help me!
Macy: Sara! Where's Sara? Run!
Schrader: There's nowhere to go!
Chip: Up! I wanna go back up!
[Steven talks to Charlie on the front steps of his house]
Steven: [bangs a knife on the pumpkin basket full of candy between them] Here. Help yourself. It's for the pumpkin, not you. Promise. All of mine were dull.
[notices the bottom of Charlie's shoes]
Steven: Ah. Smashing jack-o'-lanterns? Stealing candy? It's okay. Believe it or not, I was just like you when I was a kid. Till my dad set me straight, that is. See, my dad taught me tonight is about respecting the dead because this is the one night that the dead and all sorts of other things roam free - and pay us a visit. Sorry. All these traditions, jack-o'-lanterns, putting on costumes, handing out treats, they were started to protect us, but nowadays... No one really cares.
[Danielle is hit on by the costume shop clerk and invites him to the party]
Clerk: [counting the total cost] Two thirty-three, 30-D. I mean, $234,33.
Danielle: [smiles] You know, this might sound kind of forward, but, uh, we're just in town for a party tonight, and I was wondering what time you get off work.
Clerk: Oh. Uh, in about 20 minutes, actually
Danielle: Yeah? You know where Sheep's Meadow is?
Danielle: Sure, yeah, of course.
Danielle: All right. So why don't you meet me there in 45?
Clerk: Okay, I guess.
Clerk: Don't forget your costume.
[Schrader goes back for the other kids when he hears screams in the distance, leaving Rhonda alone by the old gate elevator]
Macy: [Macy runs into Schrader] Schrader!
Schrader: What the hell?
Macy: We have to go. We have to get out of here.
Schrader: Macy, calm down.
Macy: We have to go!
Schrader: Look! Macy.
Macy: Listen to me! We heard voices. There are other people here.
[the kids begin to hear voices giggling]
Schrader: What is that?
[voices mumble and giggle as the kids see the original school bus massacre children walking toward them from the fog, the kids scream for their life]
[the kids arrive at the location site of the old Halloween School Bus Massacre]
Schrader: Great, a rock quarry. Nice way to celebrate Halloween, Macy.
Chip: Why are we here?
Macy: To pay our respects to the dead.
Chip: What happened? Did somebody die here?
Sara: Wait. Is this where - ? It is isn't it? This is where that school...
Macy: Shut up, Sara.
Chip: The Halloween School Bus Massacre.
Macy: Just don't call it that.
Schrader: What's she talking about?
Sara: It's this awesome town legend. There's this bus full of...
Macy: Jesus, will you shut up and let me tell the damn story?
Rhonda: You said a bad word.
[Macy rolls her eyes at Rhonda before telling the story]
Macy: It happened 30 years ago on a late Halloween afternoon.
Macy: [begins narrating the flashback] A school bus was on its usual route. But this wasn't your typical school bus and they weren't your typical kids. There were eight of them and they were different. Troubled. Disturbed. Every day, parents put their dirty secrets on this bus to be driven to a school miles out of town.
[we see the kids each in their creepy Halloween masks and costumes]
Vampire Kid: [we see the vampire kid in his seat counting the addresses outside] 3260. 3264. 3266.
Macy: [continuing to narrate] But that day... the driver took a different route.
Vampire Kid: Wrong way. Wrong way. Wrong way.
Macy: And instead of taking the students home he drove the bus to an abandoned rock quarry. This rock quarry.
Macy: What the kids didn't know is that, over the years, their parents had become exhausted, and embarrassed. And they were willing to do anything to ease their burden. So one day, the parents approached the bus driver and made him an offer. With the money collected together, they asked him to do the unthinkable. It almost worked perfectly.
[the bus driver quiets the kids and begins to walk down the bus checking that each chained down kid is correct, passing them each a piece of candy]
Vampire Kid: [the vampire kid begins to try and slip out of his chains] Wrong way. Wrong way. Home. Home. I wanna go home. I wanna go home. Home.
Vampire Kid: [the vampire kid manages to get behind the steering wheel of the bus] Home. Home. Home. I wanna go home. Home.
[the bus drives forward off the rock quarry with the bus driver surviving]
Macy: [narrating] The driver was never heard from again. As for the bus, some say it sank so deep that it couldn't be found. Others say the town just didn't want it to be found. For all we know, it's still down there and so are those kids.
[silence as the kids look down into the rock quarry]
[the kids ring the door bell and in unison say trick or treat]
Mrs. Henderson: [screams and laughs looking very tipsy with a house party behind her] Aren't you guys adorable?
Macy: Thanks, Mrs. Henderson. That's a great costume.
Mrs. Henderson: I know.
[Mrs. Henderson gives them a spin in her kitty outfit]
Mrs. Henderson: Isn't it just purr-fect? You want a drink or something?
Mrs. Henderson: It'll be our little secret.
Sara: [smiles] Sure.
Macy: No, thanks. But, um...
Mrs. Henderson: All right, fine. I'll see what I got for you.
[Mrs. Henderson walks away leaving the door open]
Macy: Actually, Mrs. Henderson, we were sort of wondering if you might...
Coach Taylor: [the kids look in and see in the distance a couple in costume having sex] Oh yeah!
Macy: If you might...
Chip: [Chip raises his pirate eye patch] Holy shit.
Macy: ...Have a jack-o'-lantern... we could borrow.
Mrs. Henderson: [Mrs. Henderson returns with candy] Here you go. Now, be safe... and watch out for monsters.
[closes the door]
Sara: [talking along the street] I don't even know what that was.
Chip: Coach Taylor was in a hot-dog costume butt-fucking a pig. I think. And then...
Macy: Chip, let's just not.